Right Isn't Always Right

Greetings again!

Being relatively new to blogging I’m making all kinds of interesting discoveries.  My most recent revelation is: I can’t write a decent blog if I’m full of crap.  That being said, here’s what I learned this week:

Apologies are difficult.  No, I’m not referring to the generic B.S. “Sorry!” we often use solely for the sake of getting ourselves out of trouble.  I’m talking about genuine apology intent on righting a wrong.

How do I know this?  Unfortunately I’m well versed in apologies.  I have a long history of mistakes and hurting the feelings of others.  My most recent screw up happened about a week ago.  Here’s what happened.

Recently, I was frustrated with my neighbors.  They have a habit of doing some things that had a negative (and potentially dangerous) effect on the environment of the duplex we share.  I had wanted to talk to them about this but seldom saw the parent.  One day, when the issue occurred again, I had enough.  I exploded with a string of extremely loud expletives as I “corrected” the situation.  (Not my finest moment.)

Since that day, they have not done the things for which I felt needed correcting.  But I have been haunted by the guilt and embarrassment of my actions.  And the times when I’ve seen them, they have hurried in to their garage or purposely driven fast in the opposite direction of me.  Plus the times my wife has seen them they have avoided eye contact, spoken only when spoken to, and hurried in to their side of the duplex. 

My revelation: Sometimes we can be wrong at being right.

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin.”

Was I right to want the negative actions to cease?  Yes.  But at what cost did I achieve the desired results?  As the old saying goes, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” 

I should have realized that their behavior was not a personal attack as I had allowed my brain to perceive them to be.  I was the one who made it personal.  Recognizing the wrong of my actions I knew that it was my responsibility to make every effort to make amends.  As I previously stated, I rarely see the parent, but I wanted to move quickly.  So I wrote a short note.  In the note, I didn’t attempt to excuse my actions.  As a matter of fact, I described my behavior as inexcusable.  I told them that I acted immaturely and that I was sorry.  And I asked for forgiveness.    

True apologies do not attempt to make excuses for wrongdoing.  They are not an effort to justify ones bad behavior or actions.  A correct apology admits wrong and acknowledges the hurt that was caused.

I have not seen them or heard back from them since the apology so I don’t know how it was received.  It is their right to refuse to forgive me.  But I hope and pray that they can heal from any hurt that I have caused.  And I also hope and pray that I will learn from my mistakes and never find myself in a situation that calls for such an apology in the future.

So there you have it.  Thoughts and comments are always welcome.