Me Of Little Faith

For those of you that may stumble upon this blog I’ll start this week’s entry with a little bit of a set up.  I recently became an associate pastor at the church which I’ve been attending for the past 4 years, www.thejourneycommunity.com.  This Sunday I was given the opportunity to give the message in our current sermon series, Share Your Story.  You can find the message on the website I linked 3 sentences ago.  But I thought I’d share a quick recap here:

In the previous weeks we heard the stories of 3 really neat people.  The series was kicked off by Meagan, one of the coolest, most creative people and smartest people I know.  Then we heard from Dima, an amazing man of God shared how the Lord brought him to the states and the Journey Community.  And last week Reynaldo, the pastor of our Spanish speaking church spoke on his story and gave us some more great words from God. 

My story is 47 years in the making so I sort of skimmed through up to this past summer. 

That is where I’ll pick up.  In the summers our little community of faith has been meeting in a local park.  One Sunday, as we were getting ready to begin the service, our pastor, Steve, told me “You really need to pay attention to what Kim is going to say today.”  Kim is Steve’s wife and one of our pastors.  She spoke on the prophet Isaiah during the message she asked “What is stopping you from becoming what God has called you to be?”  The question pretty much knocked me on my butt.  The reason it had such an impact was due to the fact that I knew what God had called me to do with my life but was taking my own sweet time in getting there (I explain how I came to realize the call on my life in the actual sermon.)  I prayed a LOT about that question and came to the answer; I have doubted myself in the equation.  There’s a story in the Bible where one of the disciples of Jesus had an issue with doubt and it almost killed him.

It’s found in Matthew 14: 22-31:

²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”²⁹ “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

I can identify with Peter, but in my life, my waves were my mistakes and flaws.  I’m old.  I’m not smart enough.  I’ve been divorced.  And I’ve got this knee that continually gives me pain and is currently causing me to use a cane to walk. 

I went on to share more about how I would rather not do some things than not be perfect at those things.  But recently God has taught me that we are not defined by our mistakes.  What defines us is how we respond to our mistakes or shortcomings.  Do we learn from them and seek Him during the times of doubt, or do we continue in a downward spiral?  Do we call out to Jesus to save us?

See, on my own, I am NOT capable.  So the reality is on my own I am unable to do what God has called me to do.  There may be temporary, marginal success, but ultimately, I will fail when I try to operate solely by my own strength or abilities. 

One of the questions the speakers were given in regards to the series is “where are you going?”  My answer is “I don’t know.”  I know that I love to preach.  Nothing makes me feel more alive than sharing with a congregation the words that God gives me.  And I love to work with other- helping them to discover and develop the gifts that God has given them. 

Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m one of a kind.  There’s nobody quite as “different” as me.  I shared a series of PowerPoint slides proving how unique I am.  If I can figure out how, I’ll post them soon. 

Just as I’m unique, no 2 people are exactly alike.  And that’s a good thing!  I don’t think the world could handle more than 1 Jimmy running around.  We are not in the business of creating clones.  Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us to imitate Christ.  I believe that the world would be a better place if we sought to be like Jesus. 

Your story, like mine, is not finished yet.  It’s more like a journal of our journey.  The best way to know who we are and what we were called to do is to get to better know the one who made us.  Seek him. 

What do you love to do?  I encourage you to ask God to show you how to do THAT for him.  

Transparency

Last Monday I shared some stuff about one of my most recent screw ups. Prior to publishing I sent a draft to my friend, Megan. Megan is great writer (You should check out www.opalescentokapi.com ) and someone to whom I relate well on spiritual matters. She read my draft and replied. One line she shared said “I don't know if you're worried about pastor-people or religious-types reading this or what they'd think (to paint religious folks with a BIG brush... sorry)” and then went on to commend me for being honest and real. Her comment really got me thinking…
What is my goal/purpose in writing my blog, Seriously Jimmy?
If it is to impress the “religious-types,” than I’ve probably failed miserably. If it’s to get a ton of praise and comments with thousands of readers I’m not doing so hot either. So why DO I write this blog? It is my hope and prayer that by being honest and transparent in my writing God uses this blog to draw my readers closer to Him. This prayer is for everyone, no matter whether they are just curious about who this Jesus dude is or have known Him for 90 years.

Listening to some “old school” pastors through my 40 some years of church attendance and Bible college I’ve gotten the impression that some of them wanted me to think that their poop (if they even produced any) didn’t stink. Personally I find it difficult to identify with perfection, real or implied. A few years ago, as I was beginning a position in campus ministry, I shared with a board member my concern over feeling as though I didn’t have enough of an education to be on a level field with the students. He gave me words that, to this day, I hold close. “You can have more degrees than a thermometer and still not be able to relate.” I’ve been through a LOT of crap in my life, be it though bad choices or just basic results of living in a fallen world. But I’m here to tell you every time that I’ve pressed and trusted God, He has been faithful. The results may not have always been what I had expected, but I always ended up learning something and/or closer to God. If I hide the things that have happened out of fear of appearing to be a total moron, I am missing an opportunity to share God’s glory with others. And I’m robbing them of a chance to grow and learn from my experience.
I’ve heard it said that “The church is a hospital for sinners, not a hotel for saints” (I’m not certain the original source of this quote.) The Bible describes us as individuals in 1 Corinthians as the “Temple of the Holy Spirit.” So it would stand to reason that we are to be a place of healing and reconciliation rather than merely an escape from the “real” world. I believe that by being transparent we can relieve the pressure that many feel to be “perfect” prior to coming to church, or ultimately entering into a relationship with God.

I have adopted a motto:
I may not have all the answers, but I know the One who does. And I’d be honored to accompany you on the journey to seek Him.

As always, I’d love to read your thoughts. But don’t forget, I wrote this in the spirit of love and I’d appreciate if you were to do the same.
Peace,
Jimmy

Right Isn't Always Right

Greetings again!

Being relatively new to blogging I’m making all kinds of interesting discoveries.  My most recent revelation is: I can’t write a decent blog if I’m full of crap.  That being said, here’s what I learned this week:

Apologies are difficult.  No, I’m not referring to the generic B.S. “Sorry!” we often use solely for the sake of getting ourselves out of trouble.  I’m talking about genuine apology intent on righting a wrong.

How do I know this?  Unfortunately I’m well versed in apologies.  I have a long history of mistakes and hurting the feelings of others.  My most recent screw up happened about a week ago.  Here’s what happened.

Recently, I was frustrated with my neighbors.  They have a habit of doing some things that had a negative (and potentially dangerous) effect on the environment of the duplex we share.  I had wanted to talk to them about this but seldom saw the parent.  One day, when the issue occurred again, I had enough.  I exploded with a string of extremely loud expletives as I “corrected” the situation.  (Not my finest moment.)

Since that day, they have not done the things for which I felt needed correcting.  But I have been haunted by the guilt and embarrassment of my actions.  And the times when I’ve seen them, they have hurried in to their garage or purposely driven fast in the opposite direction of me.  Plus the times my wife has seen them they have avoided eye contact, spoken only when spoken to, and hurried in to their side of the duplex. 

My revelation: Sometimes we can be wrong at being right.

The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin.”

Was I right to want the negative actions to cease?  Yes.  But at what cost did I achieve the desired results?  As the old saying goes, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” 

I should have realized that their behavior was not a personal attack as I had allowed my brain to perceive them to be.  I was the one who made it personal.  Recognizing the wrong of my actions I knew that it was my responsibility to make every effort to make amends.  As I previously stated, I rarely see the parent, but I wanted to move quickly.  So I wrote a short note.  In the note, I didn’t attempt to excuse my actions.  As a matter of fact, I described my behavior as inexcusable.  I told them that I acted immaturely and that I was sorry.  And I asked for forgiveness.    

True apologies do not attempt to make excuses for wrongdoing.  They are not an effort to justify ones bad behavior or actions.  A correct apology admits wrong and acknowledges the hurt that was caused.

I have not seen them or heard back from them since the apology so I don’t know how it was received.  It is their right to refuse to forgive me.  But I hope and pray that they can heal from any hurt that I have caused.  And I also hope and pray that I will learn from my mistakes and never find myself in a situation that calls for such an apology in the future.

So there you have it.  Thoughts and comments are always welcome.    

Focus

Happy Monday!

The postal service of the neighborhood in which we live has a rule that in order to receive mail delivery the snow must be cleared 15 feet on either side of the mailbox.  Living on a corner lot with our driveway before a busy road the snowplows make piles about 3 feet high.  So I’ve been working on gradually clearing the area so that we can get mail delivery.  Arthritis has caused this to be a slow process for me as my back and knees can’t handle shoveling sessions that last very long.  Bottom line, I’m turning into an old fart. 

But Saturday, I was on my way home from work and saw someone in the street in a wheelchair chipping away at the pile of snow/ice in front of their mailbox.  I thought it was Doug, a neighbor who Cheryl introduced me to on one of our walks with our dog, Ozzie.  I’ve seen Doug in a chair only about once or twice.  He loves Ozzie and usually says hi to him first and then we chat for a bit.  This day got home and told Cheryl (my wife) that I was going to go down and help Doug clear the snow.  She reminded me that Doug and his wife were supposed to be in Arizona so it must be someone else.  “I don’t care who it is, I can’t let some dude be out there in his chair struggling like that” or something close to that was my reply.  So I ran (yes ran) down the block to give him a hand.  When I got there Doug’s daughter was there talking to the guy that I thought was Doug.  She introduced me to Kip (the guy in the chair) and said how she uses her parent’s snow blower but that Kip, a guy from the neighborhood likes to clean up the edges as a form of exercise. 

Here’s the thing: Kip and Doug’s daughter (I forget her name) seemed genuinely surprised/touched that someone would come offer to help.  That makes me kind of sad.  It partially saddens me because it made me ask myself how many other times have I passed people, especially in my neighborhood that might be in need of help but ignored them because I was too caught up in my own agenda. 

My buddy John has been an amazing teacher to me.  This guy will spend the better portion of the day outside snow blowing or shoveling or helping his neighbors with whatever they may need.  He has a servant’s heart and shows the love of Christ to the people of his neighborhood.  His actions tell more about God than any well crafted sermon I could ever hope to preach. 

Meeting Kip and finding out that reaching out to him was an exception to the norm has made me realize that I want to do more of that.  I want to be more externally focused. 

I hope what I have learned speaks to you and inspires you as well. 

Thanks for reading!  Be sure to share this awesome blog with your friends and check back next Monday for another exciting and informative post.

I've fixed the comment section so that anyone can share their thought below and would love to hear what you have to say. 

What kind of glasses???

I'm a huge fan of U2.  Their song Bad is one of my all time favorites.  But I am not such a fan of one of their more radio popular hits, New Years Day (I'm probably using italics incorrectly but you'll get over it.)  

The reason I don't like that song is because of their lyric stating that "Nothing changes on New Years Day."  

If I were to make New Years resolutions they would be:

To do my best every day to be a better person and to do whatever I could to make the world a better place.

Typing that I actually rolled my eyes and thought how it sounded like an answer a contestant in the Miss America Pageant would give when asked her goals.  But I really do mean it.  There is enough crap in this world.  So many things I see frustrate me beyond words.  Unfortunately, in viewing many of my previous Facebook posts, I've come to realize that I complain A LOT but do little to actually make things better.  Perhaps it's the nature of social media, but I'm not alone in this tendency.  I remember when I was a kid my mom used to tell me "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything."  Those were pretty good words; I think I'll start trying to live that way.  

If we view everything through poop-smeared glasses everything we see is going to look like crap. (Woah, deep thought Jimmy!)  

I want to have a better outlook!  Personally, I don't think that's possible.  At least not without help.  Fortunately there is help available.  Lamentations 3:22-23 (It's in the Bible) says: 

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 

More great words to live by.  

I apologize for the fact that this edition has gone in about 50 different directions with a lot of shiny distractions, but I hope that if you've stuck with it you got something of value.  

I'd love to read your thoughts or even about your resolutions if you made any.