Back and better than ever

Whew, what a week!
Father’s Day triggered many emotions in me.
I spent the past week or so mentally beating myself up.  You see, over the years I have made many mistakes. I wrote a long blog about my feelings but then realized that it was far too personal to publish without permission from my kids.  I sent it to them and told them that if they didn't want me to post I wouldn't.  I did not receive a response from either one of them so I’m taking that as a no to posting.  But not hearing anything bothered me too.  In the past week, as I've done many other times, I have relived every mistake of the past 23 years.  But this time I actually did a great deal of praying and soul searching.

Here’s what I learned…
For many years I had all kinds of “explanations” for my actions.  But this week I came to realize something: There is a difference between reasons and excuses.  For many years I tried to justify my actions (or in many cases, my inaction.)  But the bottom line is that I made many selfish and wrong choices.  I have spent years trying to convince my kids to forgive me.  But I need to allow them to heal at their own pace.  Their hurt feelings didn't happen overnight, nor will their healing.  The only thing that I can do is learn from my mistakes and make better choices in the future.  I want to be a better person than the one that they used to know.  The only way to prove that is to be the best person I can be for the rest of my life.

Why do I share such personal information?
It turns out that after this week of soul searching and revelations that I was able to use what I learned to help others.  I was speaking to someone who had been going through a situation and was reminded of my journey.  As I listened the words came back to me and I spoke them, “There is a difference between reasons and excuses.”  I went on to share a brief synopsis of my experiences.  What I said really spoke to this person’s heart.
I feel that it’s an honor to take that which God has taught me and use it to help others.
Maybe someone is in the midst of a struggle and the words that they read will speak into their lives.

May God bless you this week!

I took the Monday after preaching off.

In the meantime, check out how you can order your own personal Seriously Jimmy shirt! 

Seriously Jimmy shirts!

Proceeds will go to further the ministry of reaching people for Jesus!

Perspective

Some times I wonder if I’m the only one that feels the way I do.  In my house money is tight.  We often have to forgo some of the things that we think we deserve.  I mean my goodness, (gasp) we don’t even have internet on our phones!

But yesterday I got a great dose of reality…

In order to tell the story it’s probably best that I back up a bit.  As Connect Pastor of http://www.thejourneycommunity.com/, one of the things that my wife and I have started is informal picnics after church at the park in which we meet.  We are hoping that it will be a good tool in building community.  We do our best to bring a little bit of extra food to share in case there are any visitors.
Saturday I went to the store for supplies.  I got some sliced turkey, a block of cheese and a package of pepperoni along with a bag of veggie chips.
Being the easily distracted mess that I am, I totally forgot to put together the items (along with the leftover hamburger buns that I had planned on bringing.  But my wonderful wife had everything ready to go by the time we were to leave for church.  
Well as it turned out, yesterday we had a couple of visitors.  They were in the area and they heard the speaker talking about God so they decided to stick around and hear what he had to say.  After church I invited them to join us for lunch.  Somewhere between church and lunch I learned that they had a need for housing.  As I served these children of God who were less fortunate than I and saw their sincere appreciation over a couple of sandwiches, some veggie chips and a few sticks of celery, I couldn’t help but think of how blessed my wife and I actually are.  We have been given so much!  We were actually able to share with a couple other people as well!  And we were given such an amazing opportunity to show the love of Christ in a tangible way!   On the way home I told my wife that I was actually still a little bit hungry because I didn’t want to eat so much that there wasn’t enough to share.  It turned out she was too.  But we had eaten enough to hold us over until our next meal- in our home of plenty.  And we were deeply convicted by the thought that we are pretty much spoiled.  We are incredibly blessed!
Each night, as we sit down to eat our meal, I hold her hand and we take a minute to thank God for what we have before us.  But tonight we really had a greater appreciation for all we have.
This week I encourage you to count your blessings.  And give thanks to God, the one who gives them.  And don’t hesitate to share with others out of the blessings that you have been given.
 

Ditto?

A couple of weeks ago my wife and I celebrated our 12th anniversary.  I wrote, what I thought, was a beautiful blog that not only shared the things that I have learned over the years, but also was a loving tribute to my wonderful wife.  

I posted a link to the blog on her Facebook wall with the comment “I love the heck out of you” above the link and waited for her to tell me how wonderful it, and in kind, I was.  Later that evening I got a notification on my phone that she had commented.  I was so excited to read the comment because I was certain it would be a heartfelt response.  “Awwwww, ditto” was what I read.  This was obviously not the response I was hoping to get.  For a while I didn’t say anything; my frustration steeped in silence.  She offered to rub my tired back and I accepted.  After about twenty minutes I asked, “Would you prefer I didn’t say or post nice things about you?”  “I said ditto,” she replied.  She went on to explain that she meant the same thing and didn’t understand why I took her response as a negative.  I realized that there was no good that could come from arguing over her not feeling the way I had expected and decided it was best to just drop it.  

Two days later I got another notification.  She had commented on my post again.  This one said, “So the only thing I saw when I commented wasn’t the blog.  I finally saw your blog and it is awesome, thanks!

I asked her if, after reading the whole thing, she understood why I had been upset.  She answered that she did and asked if I, after her explanation, understood why she had only said what she had.  I laughed and admitted that I did.  

Here’s the thing that I have learned.  Not everyone is going to receive what we give them in the way that we expect.  Each of us is different.  My wife didn’t mean anything bad; I just didn’t know the whole story.  And as a result, I had projected all of my insecurities into the situation.  This has happened in the past and I’m ashamed to say that I have, to put it mildly, lost my cool.  This time I was still frustrated, but I didn’t turn it into world war III.  Instead, I trusted everything that I knew about her and that something so small was a divot, not a canyon.  Divots can be filled easily or simply avoided without much impact on the direction in which we are going.  Canyons, on the other hand change the entire journey.  

James 1:19 (NLT) says:

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 

I don’t think that I’ve ever read the “Divot vs. Canyon” analogy before, so I’m claiming it as inspiration from God.  I think it’s a pretty cool visual image for when situations arise between us in the future.  

I’m so glad she’s so patient with me!