It's okay to live

A year ago today my dad passed away.
Losing him was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I've experienced thus far in life.  But, in the midst of our family (and the world's) loss I realized something: It's okay for me to live.
Last night my wife and I were watching The Voice on television.  One of the ladies talked about how she had not sung since her father died three years ago.  While I acknowledge that we all deal with grief differently I couldn't help but think of how she unnecessarily robbed herself.  Do I miss my dad?  Yes!  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him.  There are many days that I try to incorporate at least one article of his clothing in my wardrobe.  I guess it's my way of feeling close to him.  Watching the show last night I couldn't help but wonder what my dad would have thought.  And knowing him like I do, I'm certain he would be saddened if, in my grief I were to give up the things that bring me joy.  Knowing my dad made me a better person.  As a result, I have decided that the best way for me to honor the memory of his life is to try my best to be the kind of person that would make him proud.  I can't guarantee I'll always measure up, but I'm sure going to try.

I have found comfort in the knowledge that, as a young man, my dad gave his life to God.  From that point on he did his best to live his life in a way that was pleasing to his Heavenly Father.  As a result, I have faith that he is spending eternity in the presence of the Lord.  And some day, when my time is up, we will be reunited.

I know that there are many who have experienced their own most difficult losses.  And I hope you don't interpret what I have written as insensitive to your loss.  Rather, I hope to encourage and bring hope.  

Detours

In 2004 I received a call to move to Madison to assist in the planting of a church.  My wife and I prayed long and hard about it and were certain that moving would be an act of obedience to God's call on our lives.  So I left college (against the advice of some friends that still haven't spoken to me since) and we moved.  I still the evening a couple months after we moved.  I met with the lead pastor for dinner and he informed me that my main job in the church would be to start a children's ministry and possible after school program.  I was dumbfounded.  In all of my imagining and dreaming of my future, working with little kids was not even on my radar!  On the way home I called my wife to tell her about the meeting and she too was taken aback.  I asked "How could God have called me to leave college and move and then pull the rug out from under my feet?"  But then the thought hit, "If I am faithful with what God has given, He will give increase."  I ended up having kid's church and teaching kids ranging from the ages of 1-12ish.  I never started an after school program, but I believe God did many good works in the lives of the kids.  And I was given increased opportunity to preach sermons in adult church.  Everything seemed to be going well.  But then, my wife and I began to see things happening that made us uncomfortable.  One week during the musical portion of worship I my soul ached so greatly that I had to run out of the service in tears and hide in the bathroom.  I knew that I needed to step down from my position and pray about my future with the church.  That was my last Sunday with that church.  For the sake of the spiritual well being of my family we needed to remove ourselves from that environment.

I began to wonder, "Had I really heard from God about moving to Madison?"  I started to question everything about my "call" to ministry.  Looking back now, I realize that I was at a crossroads.  One choice was that I could choose the easy road and listen to my head which said to give up on ministry and possibly my Christianity.  The other choice was to take the dark, scary, and difficult road and press on toward the destination my heart was telling me was God's plan.  We started checking out other churches and I made quite a lot of calls to area pastors.  Many church visits left us frustrated and unfulfilled.  And none of my phone calls to pastors were returned... Except for one.  

The pastor of The Journey returned my call and invited me to meet him for coffee.  We talked for about an hour. Well, I talked for about 53 minutes out of that hour.  I gave him the condensed version of our experiences and after I was finished he told me about the vision of The Journey and asked me to pray about what my role would be there.  "I'm good to pray now!" I responded.  So we prayed for a few minutes and I promised him I would come the following Sunday.  

My wife and I have attended since that week and 2 years ago I became one of the pastors.  This past year has been one of the best years I've ever experienced in ministry.  I have had the pleasure of being mentored by the new lead pastor and have come to a better understanding of my gifting and exactly what God has called me to do in service to the kingdom.  This past summer, while speaking at middle school camp in Iowa, God taught me and revealed Himself to me in ways I'd never even imagined possible.  Perhaps, in the future, I will write about these things in greater detail.  But for now, the message that I desire to convey is this:

When things don't go according to your plan, press in!  God has a plan.
When the apostle Paul was in prison he wrote:
2 Timothy 1: 11-12

And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am,  Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

Some times there are detours in life. But thankfully, if we continue to seek direction from God, we will find our way back to the road He has called us to.

Peace!

Back

Whoa, have I really not blogged since may?
Crazy!
A lot has happened in the past four months.
I had the most amazing experiences as the speaker to middle school kids at camp in Iowa.
I hosted my fifth annual BaconFest.
And I have been tasked with beginning a youth group at my church.
Pretty cool stuff!

I'll be attempting to be more regular in my postings.  But I will probably be doing them a bit differently.  I think am going to make it a bit more like a journal.  You know, some place where I can work out my thoughts on the ministry, life and stuff.  Not every entry will be accompanied by great fanfare or links from social media.  So if you feel like it, check back occasionally to see what's going on.
I would suggest subscribing to the page so you can get updates but, so far, I haven't been able to figure out how to add a subscribe button.

Feel free to leave a related comment.  But please remember, this is not a forum for your personal agenda.  I reserve the right to delete comments I deem unfit for my blog.  If you want to go on about other things, start your own blog page.

God bless!
Jimmy!

I Love to Talk!

Saturday night as I was getting out of the car my throat suddenly felt like I had swallowed a sword.  I could barely talk and swallowing even water was almost impossible.  I was freaked out because, if you know me, I love to talk.  Talking is my thing!  I'm an occasional preacher, and spend about eight hours a day on the phone at my other job.  While I'm certain my wife appreciated the peace, I missed talking up my usual storm.  This got me thinking of how I take little things, like the ability to speak, for granted.  I just assume they will always be there.  I began to wonder what else I would hate to do without.  I know it would be awful if I were no longer able to see my wife's beautiful smile.  And cooking/eating would be a major bore if not for the senses of smell and taste.  I have so much for which to be thankful.  Even my (paying) job is a huge blessing.  I get to meet people from every walk of life.  The company is flexible with time off so that I can do things such as speaking at camp.  And I get paid.  It's easy to focus on the negative, but so much better to be grateful for that which we have.

I have been reading Psalms in my morning quiet times  

Here's a really cool one of thanks:

Psalm 138

The Message (MSG)

A David Psalm

138 1-3 Thank you! Everything in me says “Thank you!”

    Angels listen as I sing my thanks.

I kneel in worship facing your holy temple

    and say it again: “Thank you!”

Thank you for your love,

    thank you for your faithfulness;

Most holy is your name,

    most holy is your Word.

The moment I called out, you stepped in;

    you made my life large with strength.

4-6 When they hear what you have to say, God,

    all earth’s kings will say “Thank you.”

They’ll sing of what you’ve done:

    “How great the glory of God!”

And here’s why: God, high above, sees far below;

    no matter the distance, he knows everything about us.

7-8 When I walk into the thick of trouble,

    keep me alive in the angry turmoil.

With one hand

    strike my foes,

With your other hand

    save me.

Finish what you started in me, God.

    Your love is eternal—don’t quit on me now.

Giving thanks is an excellent way of telling God how much we appreciate all he has done.  And it helps us to focus on the positive.

I would love to read what "little things" for which you are thankful that you normally take for granted.  

You Just Never Know

Oh my goodness, I don't know what happened, but it seems like I blinked and 2 weeks came and went.  I actually had the subject for this entry in my head a week ago but lost track of time.  So anyway, A.D.H.D. aside, here we go.

A few weeks ago my wife and I were shopping at our local Farm and Fleet store.  We brought our items (including a bag of Maple Bacon Kettle Chips) to the register.  I got the feeling that the cashier was rather lethargic and it annoyed me a bit.  But I didn't say anything.  As he handed me my receipt I couldn't help but notice how he was doing everything with his left hand and moving rather slowly.  I thought about the work ethic my dad instilled in me that said to never lean or appear lazy on the job and I began getting frustrated.  But my dad also taught me to be polite, so I didn't say anything.  And as he handed the bag to me with that same hand I suddenly noticed something... He was missing his right hand.  Oh my goodness did I feel like a jerk!  Granted I hadn't said anything or treated him poorly, but I had been thinking about it.

A day or so later my sister, Rosa (not her given name but that's what I call her) posted something on Facebook.  It said something about how we don't know the situation of others.  It went on to say that the person with whom we are getting angry might have just lost a loved one or may not be able to afford to eat today.  I immediately thought back to the guy at Farm and Fleet.  What an excellent illustration of the Facebook post.  The cashier's situation was fairly clear.  But not everyone's story is quite so evident.

In the time since, I have been trying to remember this: We don't know what is going on in the lives of others, so I need to cut them some slack.  I've gone through some tough times myself.  Thankfully I have family and friends that have given me the needed grace and love.

Once I understood the reason for what I had perceived as laziness, I made eye contact, smiled and said "Thank you."  This should be my response no matter what.  I'm not to judge who is "worthy" of grace and love.  I'm to disperse them unconditionally.  Maybe if I do that, people will get a better understanding of the love of God.  Who knows, can't hurt!

In the words of Wayne Campbell in Wayne's World, "Be excellent to each other."

Thoughts?  Have you had similar occurrences?  I'd love to read about them.
God bless y'all!

How Much it Too Much?

Not to name-drop, but I was pretty stoked that one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, tweeted back to my response to his tweet.  Unfortunately I am terrible at presenting a clear and intelligent point within the limitations of 140 characters.  But that's not my point.

Yesterday was Easter Sunday.  Easter is the most important day in Christian faith.  I love everything about the day, the hope, the renewal of life, the time with my church family, and how gorgeous my wife looks in her Easter finest.
But this year was different.  I don't know if it's just because I am more aware or if the world really has taken a sharp turn.  This year, amid all of the wonderful aspects of the day, I found my heart breaking.  This year I couldn't help but notice all of my unchurched friends, and even some that have been brought up in church, posting things on various forms of social media that I found to be offensive.  I found the "Zombie Jesus" jokes and cartoons in particularly disturbing.  Considering the current zombie trend in television and movies, this is not okay.  Zombies are portrayed as mindless, soulless beasts bent on feasting on the flesh of the living.  As Christians, calling Jesus a zombie should piss us off!  (Yes, I typed a slightly offensive word and ended a sentence in a preposition.  That should be some illustration of how angered this makes me.)
Why is it that if someone speaks against other religions they are considered hateful and intolerant, but Christianity is fair game?  Not long ago I saw a picture someone had posted where Jesus and Santa Claus were riding a dinosaur while UFO's were shooting from the sky. I told the person I found it offensive and they basically called me a whiner.  Yet when word got out a while back that there was to be an episode of the cartoon South Park featuring Muhammad, they creators of the show received death threats and were protested.  Why the double standard?
I understand that the Bible warned us this would happen.
1 Corinthians tells us:
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

For the most part, I kept silent on the offensive posts, but I did call out one friend and he totally didn't get it.
I would really like to hear your opinions on this.  First, have you seen the things I've mentioned or similar?  If so, how did you respond?  If not, how would you respond?
I really want to turn the other cheek, but dang, they both are getting pretty tired!

Not Okay, Yet

Greetings,

Some interesting thoughts that I want (or probably need) to share.  I've always been pretty transparent so why change now?

I've been going through some junk with my eyes.  I was born with congenital glaucoma.  In the past I was extremely vigilant about my eye care.  I went to specialists regularly and did an excellent job at taking the necessary medications to keep them under control.  But then came money issues.  I'll spare you the details, except to say that I haven't been properly caring for my eyes.  In the past year I have seen steady degeneration in my vision.  So I finally sought treatment.  For a minute things looked like they were going great and that everything would be better.  During that brief period it was easy for me to be positive.  I had no problem telling people how I had put the situation in God's hands and that I was willing to trust Him no matter the outcome.

But then things didn't go as smoothly as they originally appeared to be headed.  Suddenly the answers that seemed to be miraculously headed my way didn't pan out in the ways I had expected.  Perhaps I misread some of the signs.  But either way I must admit that I'm disappointed.  I've been attempting to mask my disappointment and push through.  I tell myself that the words I said a week ago are still true.  And I really do believe it.  But that doesn't stop me from currently feeling sad, frustrated, and quite a bit scared.  I don't want to go blind!  Even as I type this I tell myself to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding" (Psalms 3:5.)

Here is the thing.  For a change, I'm not running away.  In the past I might have rebelled by crawling in to my own personal pity pit.  I probably would have skipped church and church-related activities.  But this time I have realized how dumb those decisions were in the past.  First Corinthians 12 tells us how we are one body.  I've really been allowing that one to roll around in my brain this week.  I got this strangely weird and very cool image:
Imagine a body having a broken leg.  It doesn't just lay in bed until the leg gets around to mending.  The arms grab a pair of crutches in order to help the body continue to move as necessary until the leg is strong enough to resume its assigned role.

I went to church yesterday.  I think I did a decent job of not wearing my emotions on my sleeve.  But at the same time, when asked, I was honest.  I shared with at least two arms, Karen and Mark, how I was feeling.  These friends didn't tell me I was dumb for feeling that way.  (Funny thought, just as with crutches, if we rely on armpits we're going to be in a great deal of pain; it's important to share our struggles with those who won't put us down for feeling the way we do.)  Instead, these arms shared the load and promised to pray.  And they built me up with words of encouragement.  They didn't chastise me for my past failures in getting treatment (which an armpit would do.)  They had compassion.  I was again reminded how God is in control.  And even if things go differently than I would like, I am part of a body.  I'm still working through my feelings as far as my eyes are concerned.  But I know that with God, and the body of Christ, everything will be okay.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you or forsake you.  Do not fear or be dismayed- Deuteronomy 31:8