Clearing the Clutter

I have a room in our duplex in which I keep my clothes.  In it, there’s a bed and some of my favorite things I’ve collected through the years.  It’s kind of a sanctuary, my personal “man cave.”  I, admittedly, have difficulty keeping it clean and organized.  When my wonderful wife does the laundry, she puts my clothes on the bed for me to hang or place in the proper drawers.  More often than I’d like to admit, I ended up simply moving the items to the floor to make room for my lazy butt to chill on the bed (much to the chagrin of my wife.)  One day it hit me.  The words of my dad rang in my ears loud and clear.  I remember how he once (probably more than once, but I used to be a dumb kid who didn’t hear things the first hundred times) told me something regarding the space in which I worked when he was my first boss:

“Your work space sets the tone for everything you do.  A messy space leads to messy work and an even messier attitude.”

The words just happened to come to me in the midst of a particularly time in my life.  I had been experiencing some messy patches in both of my jobs and, as a result, was in a downward spiral- a story for another day.  If you know me, you know that my dad was/is my hero.  So when the words came to me, I was fairly certain that God was using them to convey a message in the only way I’d listen.

One day when my wife was at work, I decided to tackle the task at hand.  It looked like an enormous clothing eating monster had a bout of projectile vomit and spewed on everything!  But I was determined.  The first thing I realized was that I was holding on to useless crap.  Some of the things which were just some things of which I needed to let go.  When my dad died, I brought home a car full of his clothes, shoes and other items.  I often wear many of the good shirts and shoes.  There was also quite a few things which were too worn or didn’t fit.  I hung on to belts that were too big or broken, simply because I didn’t want to let go.  But, that day, I had an epiphany.  I came to see that I could keep the useful and precious things; but the things which were of no use were hindering me from my goal.  I’m not going to sugar coat and tell you it was an easy task; it was actually quite difficult.  Saying goodbye to the sentimental items I held dear sucked.  But here’s the interesting thing.  After the tears, and a few garbage bags had been cleared, I was able to focus on the good.  The room was spotless.  And I felt a sense of pride I hadn’t felt in a very long time.  Another amazing result was that the good things that I kept suddenly became even more precious!  Without all the useless clutter, I was able to focus on the beauty.

I’m proud to say that I have maintained the room.  When laundry is placed on my bed (side note: she spoils me and rarely allows me to do laundry) I immediately put it where it belongs.  And I’ve come to see it as a metaphor for my life.  There was a TON of clutter in my life.  I have carried some emotional clutter for quite some time.  I’ve begun a mission to rid my life of the useless garbage I’ve carried and held close for years.  Item by item, I ask myself, “Is this something I can use?  Or is this just something that is hindering me from the decluttered life I deserve to live?”  Whoa, I’m starting to tear up as I type this.  Not long ago, I shared individually with my wife and a few others with whom I trust my life, how I felt I didn’t deserve to take care of myself or have anything of value.  Just now is the first time the thought came to me without hesitation, “I deserve a life unencumbered by crap that keeps me from shining!”
That’s huge!  Somewhere along the way, I’ve given myself permission to be happy.  I finally see that the hurt placed upon me by others does not define me.  And when things in my life haven’t gone the way I thought they should I have not failed.  I am not a failure!  No longer will I have emotional clutter keeping me from the life I deserve!

Sometimes that’s not as easy as carrying a few Hefty bags out to the trash.  It takes far longer than one Saturday afternoon.  I’m sure there will still be some rough patches.  But anything worth doing is worth fighting for.  I am worth fighting for!  Just like the decluttered room helped me to focus on the precious, I’ve come to see myself a precious.  That’s a freaking amazing feeling and one that I haven’t felt in what seems like ages!
So I finally am willing to fight for the life in which I’m called.  I’ll continue to read God’s word for direction and lean on the precious people who love me.

Well, maybe this spoke to you.  I sure hope so.  If so, I’d love to hear (here, or privately.)  In the meantime, Let me say that YOU are worth fighting for!

God bless y'all!

Oomea Loompa and life

I'm not good at waiting.
When I want something, I want it now!
I'm reminded of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  She was a spoiled brat who pitched a fit to get what she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't practical, she demanded her daddy indulge her every desire.

My hearing aid is 6 years old.  It's pretty much at the end of its life.  So today, I went to check out a new one.  The new aid wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  And it was really pricey  ($2300.)  But I wanted to solve my hearing situation right now.  I sat down to fill out the paperwork to finance the purchase.  But before I could even write my name, I realized it was a decision I should discuss with my wife before going further.  So I thanked the audiologist for his time and said that I needed time to think about it.  As I drove home I decided that I need to be wise in my decision.  While it makes perfect sense to wait until I know I'm making the best choice, I couldn't help but get angry.  "I want my hearing woes solved immediately! I don't want to wait!  Why can't I have what I want when I want it?"  Those were just a few of this spoiled brat's thoughts.  I pouted for a few minutes and then it hit me.  I was pushing for something based on emotions.  Would I be better able to hear?  Yes. But how much have I researched? How confident am I that I'm choosing the best possible option?  I wouldn't buy the first car I saw just because it's shiny. So why jump at the first hearing aid I've tried?  A decision like this takes wisdom.  Probably more wisdom than I possess.  It would be a good idea to discuss it with family and friends.  And while I'm at it, I bet God would be happy to help me figure out what to do.
Realizing this has brought me peace.  I can wait.  And in doing so, when the time comes to actually purchase a hearing aid, I can be confident in my decision.
So I guess this spoiled brat is learning!

Proverbs 3:5-6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.

Maybe an Oompha Loompa isn't what I need at this point in time.  Maybe God has something in store that willblow me away.  I don't want to get ahead of what He's doing.
At 50 (for about another week and a half) I'm still learning this. But I'm excited to see what happens next!

Oomea Loompa and life

I'm not good at waiting.
When I want something, I want it now!
I'm reminded of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  She was a spoiled brat who pitched a fit to get what she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't practical, she demanded her daddy indulge her every desire.

My hearing aid is 6 years old.  It's pretty much at the end of its life.  So today, I went to check out a new one.  The new aid wasn't exactly what I had in mind.  And it was really pricey  ($2300.)  But I wanted to solve my hearing situation right now.  I sat down to fill out the paperwork to finance the purchase.  But before I could even write my name, I realized it was a decision I should discuss with my wife before going further.  So I thanked the audiologist for his time and said that I needed time to think about it.  As I drove home I decided that I need to be wise in my decision.  While it makes perfect sense to wait until I know I'm making the best choice, I couldn't help but get angry.  "I want my hearing woes solved immediately! I don't want to wait!  Why can't I have what I want when I want it?"  Those were just a few of this spoiled brat's thoughts.  I pouted for a few minutes and then it hit me.  I was pushing for something based on emotions.  Would I be better able to hear?  Yes. But how much have I researched? How confident am I that I'm choosing the best possible option?  I wouldn't buy the first car I saw just because it's shiny. So why jump at the first hearing aid I've tried?  A decision like this takes wisdom.  Probably more wisdom than I possess.  It would be a good idea to discuss it with family and friends.  And while I'm at it, I bet God would be happy to help me figure out what to do.
Realizing this has brought me peace.  I can wait.  And in doing so, when the time comes to actually purchase a hearing aid, I can be confident in my decision.
So I guess this spoiled brat is learning!

Proverbs 3:5-6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.

Maybe an Oompha Loompa isn't what I need at this point in time.  Maybe God has something in store that willblow me away.  I don't want to get ahead of what He's doing.
At 50 (for about another week and a half) I'm still learning this. But I'm excited to see what happens next!

I've Moved

You can find my latest blog here

Victory

In my last post I wrote about some of my wrestles with insecurity.  So I've been thinking a lot about that and how to overcome some of those things.  Today I thought I'd share. 

I've come to the realization that I cannot conquer these issues on my own.  So then, what can I do?  For me, the thing that has had the greatest impact is to turn to God.  In the past I've just been like "Okay God, you know what I'm going through, fix it!"  And then I've sat around and waited.  And waited.  But now I've come to the realization that I need to be an active participant in the healing process.  What I've found to be best for me is to shift my focus.  I'm learning that the best thing I can do is to spend time with Him.  I'm learning that the more I know God, the more I understand who He is.  He is showing me His heart.  In that, I'm discovering how He sees me.  When we learn about His perfect love, it's easier to set aside the way the world has conditioned us to see ourselves.  God loves us for who we are.  He wants the best for us!  Sure there are things in me that might need to change.  But the spirit of defeat does not come from God.  He sees these changes as victory!  How freeing is that?  Instead of feeling discouraged because I have so far to go, what would happen if I looked at every challenge as an opportunity for growth and potential for victory?   That changes everything!  It motivates me to find my strength in Him.  And it helps me to focus on the God that loves me so much that He gave His Son to save me!  It gives new meaning to James 4:8:
Come close to God and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.  

I will never find peace in living to please the world.  So why should I try?  But when we live to please God, we WILL find everything we need.

I pray that this word blesses you.

Peace, 

Jimmy

Identity

I'm going to let you in on a secret.  Up until this point it's been known only by those with whom I am closest.  But here it is: Quite often I am an insecure wreck.  I'm not saying this for sympathy.  The following is basically me processing my thoughts.  I felt the need to be transparent.  And, who knows, maybe my journey will assist someone who is in a similar situation.

Yesterday I was telling someone I've known, pretty much forever, the story of something that happened while my wife and I were out this weekend.  (Please excuse me for being vague, it is not my intent to "call out" anyone in a negative light.)  I told of how my dental "flipper" had broken and how embarrassed and freaked out I was.  And I mentioned that, even though I had done a temporary fix with Super Glue, I was eating without it until I get something more sturdy.  They responded by saying "If I were your wife I'd eat in the other room!"

I later told my sweet wife about what was said.  And I told her that I responded by saying how fortunate that I'm married to a wonderful woman who loves me and thinks I'm cute no matter what.  But as we were talking I said "I've heard these kind of things my whole life.  Is it any wonder I'm so freaking insecure?"

I've really been giving this a lot of thought.  I received a really good word at around 2 am, (why do my best thoughts usually come when I should be asleep?)   I typed it but forgot to save.  But it went something like this:

     When we spend a major portion of our lives subjected to disapproving remarks which result in continual blows to the heart, it's understandable why one would spend exert a great deal of time and energy seeking the approval of others.
Now here's the interesting part.  Recently, I've actually been in a bit of a rebirth.  I've kind of felt like God has had me let go of all of the things that I thought made me feel secure and all of the things I thought I knew about myself.  He has been teaching me that my identity, who I really am, is grounded in Him and His love.   I'm blessed to have a wonderful wife, my earthly reason for existence who loves me unconditionally.  And I'm part of the most incredible pastoral staff who has been walking this journey with me and has truly loved me in a way that can only be described as the greatest human example of the love of Christ.  
The scars caused by years and years of taking fire are beginning to heal.  I have the ultimate shield in Him.
I'm not going to say that the words that person said didn't hurt.  But it's like God deflected the arrow aimed at my heart.  This time, instead of a mortal blow, its just a flesh wound!

If this speaks to you, then it was all worth it.  The first step in the healing processes begin is started when we seek to find our identity in Him.

Seriously Jimmy's 2014 in Review

Whoa, January 5, 2015 already!
I thought today would be a great time to review some of the highlights of last year.

The beginning of 2014 was pretty tame.  It seemed like I blinked and it was summer.  Or perhaps that's a result of being almost 50!
But summer was super sweet.

Some of my favorite times were the walks my wife and I would take with our dog.  They are always filled with great talks and a whole lot of laughter!  I'm continually in awe of how fortunate I am to be married to my best friend in the whole world!

I've seen God working in the mending of some relationships that had been injured.  This has been so great!  It has given me hope for even better times to come!

In August I had the honor of being the speaker at the Iowa Foursquare Middle School Camp.  It was awesome!  God really moved in the lives of the kids.  We saw about a third of them make either first time decisions to follow God or rededicate their lives to Him.  And I really felt God moving in my own life.

When I returned from camp I held my annual BaconFest.  This one was the best so far!  It's a great way for the friends from all areas of my life- work, church, and the neighborhood to get together for fun and bacon!

The following week, I met with the lead pastors from our church, The Journey, for my yearly review.  In the meeting they asked me to start a youth group.  After the week I had at camp, I knew it was what God was calling me to.  So I began praying for wisdom on how to begin.
It didn't take long for one answer to come.  Long story short, I felt prompted to ask a friend who was moving back to Madison to join the youth team.
The awesome thing was that, about ten minutes before I sent the message inviting her to be a part of the ministry, she had been praying about the Journey and asking God to use her in starting one!
So she joined us in September.  She has played a huge role ever since!  She leads a weekly Bible study (PB&J- Prayer, Bible, and Journal) for middle school girls.
In November we had our first youth event. We took the kids bowling.  We had a great turn out and everyone had a great time!
In December we held a Christmas party for them.  It was a whole lot of fun and I got to share with the kids why we, as Christians, celebrate Christmas.  It was neat to look into the eyes of some kids who had never really heard about Jesus and why He was born!

Other great things (not in chronological order) are:
I bought a ukulele and am slowly learning to play.
I've gotten some opportunities to preach at The Journey.  I love getting to share the Word!
Ooh, and I have even gotten to sing on the worship team a couple of times!  That was super fun!
This year has been so filled with so many friends.  I've been blessed to grow closer to the ones I had and make new ones.
My wife, friends, and family are what makes my life so wonderful!
I am so thankful that I'm able to share the good times with them and that they are my rock when times get tough.

What's in store for 2015?
Well, next Sunday, we are starting Youth Night!
We'll be meeting in our Youth Director's apartment (we're praying for God to bring us to a larger place soon.)  We plan on this being a great way to facilitate their spiritual journeys.
And I'll be starting a boy's PB&J this month!  So far we have 1 boy, and he's a great kid who loves Jesus.  I can't wait to see how God grows our study.
And it's never too early to start thinking about getting the kids to camp!  We're going to start fund raising soon to help offset some of the cost for them to go.

So there you go!
I'd love it if you'd pray for wisdom for me as I get the honor of being used by God in our ministry.

Freeing Words

I met with my Youth Pastor in training today.  She spoke, as she often does about her love for the girls she has been privileged to lead.  While talking she seemed a bit overwhelmed.  She has such love and compassion for the girls.  While talking I felt like God was telling me to tell her, "God didn't call us to fix them, He called us to love them."  Her face showed that it was exactly what she needed to hear in that moment.  We talked a bit about how freeing of a thought it was.
As I drove home from the coffee shop I began to think that it is an excellent word for all of us.

I think that there are times we feel overwhelmed by the world's need for Jesus.  We see the need but we often feel unqualified to meet it.  News flash of the day, we are unqualified.  But here's the really cool part, we know the One who is.  When we realize that God hasn't called us to fix them but to just love them everything changes.  Some times we feel unprepared.  Maybe we don't have the Bible memorized.  We might not be able to quote scripture at a moment's notice.  Or we might be inexperienced.  That's fine!  We are simply called to love them.  This means that the best way to be prepared, equipped, and ready is by growing in our relationship with God.  When we learn what His love is, we learn how to love like He does.  His love is perfect.
As I wrote this I was reminded of this passage:

1 Corinthians 13 New Living Translation (NLT)

Love Is the Greatest

13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

I pray this word blesses you.

Jimmy

Hats and Stuff

This January I begin my third year as a pastor at The Journey. In the past two years I've worn many pastoral hats.  I think I have tried many to see which would be exactly the right fit.  Then God showed me the one He had waiting for me to wear.

This past August I spoke at middle school camp in Iowa.  In the months leading up to camp I spent hour after hour in prayer.  I sought God for guidance and direction.  One of the things he told me when I was praying was "Just be who I made you to be and I'll do the rest."  And boy did He!  That week we saw about half the kids make first time decisions to give their lives to God or to rededicate themselves to Him.

So when I got home from camp and met with the lead pastors of the church, and they asked me to start a youth ministry, I couldn't possibly refuse. I approached the assignment in the same way I had with camp.  PRAYER.  I asked for guidance and direction.  And this time I asked for one more thing, HELP!  A couple weeks, while still praying for help, I learned that someone I sort of, kind of knew was moving back to Madison.  I really felt God prompting me to contact her and ask her to be part of the youth ministry.  It just so happened that, ten minutes before I had contacted her she had been praying about The Journey and asking God how she could minister to the youth of Madison!  I love when God does cool stuff like that!
So we started with two kids and a lot of prayer.  She is now leading the girls in a weekly Bible study that has an average of about eight!  I'll be leading one for the boys after the first of the year.  And in January we will be kicking off Sunday Youth Night!  Please excuse all of the exclamation points, I'm just super-excited

We are even have even taken on two more great leaders.
Our goal is pretty simple.  We want kids to facilitate them in a relationship with God.  We believe that by doing so lives will change!  Heck, Madison will change!  Not because of how cool we are, but because of how awesome God is.  He is the one that can bring salvation, not only in the eternal (which is amazing in and of itself.) But through Him, comes healing, forgiveness, and love that is such a great need in the lives of kids today.  

I am stoked!  I love my "Youth pastor hat" and am honored to wear it.

I can't wait to see what God has in store!  

And I ask that you pray.

Please pray for the kids.

Please pray for the leaders.

And please pray for me as I lead this great team of leaders.

God bless y'all!

Seriously Jimmy, Again?

Yesterday a dear friend pointed out something to me.  I had just made a self deprecating comment. She pulled me aside so as to not embarrass me in front of others and brought it to my attention.  She is one of those close friends who knows some of my big struggles in life.  In a nutshell she reminded me that, if I want to be taken seriously, I need to take myself seriously and especially stop saying negative/joking remarks about myself.
It was one of those light bulb moments.  And to further drive home the point, I realized something that had happened in the midst.  What I said was a bit negative.  What she heard was exponentially worse.  It made me really think.  I could totally see myself saying what she thought she had heard.  I have a tendency to make "jokes" in order to mask my times of self doubt.  But what oft times happens is that I set myself up for failure.  It could be failure in what I am doing or that I've already sewed seeds of negativity in the minds of those who are on the receiving end.  The funny thing is that when I hear my wife or friends speaking similar words about themselves, I usually jump in and correct such actions.  So why don't I do it for myself?  Well from now on I will try to do better!
One other thing she told me was "Geev um!" which is Pidgin for try you best, go for it, don't give up!  I like that!  I told myself that as I was singing in church and in singing I reminded myself "'Geev um' (God) all of you."
I'm going to work on making that my new default setting.  When I'm feeling nervous, unqualified, or uncertain of my abilities I'm gonna "geev um!"
And I'll do my best to seriously be "Seriously Jimmy."

It's okay to live

A year ago today my dad passed away.
Losing him was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I've experienced thus far in life.  But, in the midst of our family (and the world's) loss I realized something: It's okay for me to live.
Last night my wife and I were watching The Voice on television.  One of the ladies talked about how she had not sung since her father died three years ago.  While I acknowledge that we all deal with grief differently I couldn't help but think of how she unnecessarily robbed herself.  Do I miss my dad?  Yes!  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him.  There are many days that I try to incorporate at least one article of his clothing in my wardrobe.  I guess it's my way of feeling close to him.  Watching the show last night I couldn't help but wonder what my dad would have thought.  And knowing him like I do, I'm certain he would be saddened if, in my grief I were to give up the things that bring me joy.  Knowing my dad made me a better person.  As a result, I have decided that the best way for me to honor the memory of his life is to try my best to be the kind of person that would make him proud.  I can't guarantee I'll always measure up, but I'm sure going to try.

I have found comfort in the knowledge that, as a young man, my dad gave his life to God.  From that point on he did his best to live his life in a way that was pleasing to his Heavenly Father.  As a result, I have faith that he is spending eternity in the presence of the Lord.  And some day, when my time is up, we will be reunited.

I know that there are many who have experienced their own most difficult losses.  And I hope you don't interpret what I have written as insensitive to your loss.  Rather, I hope to encourage and bring hope.  

Detours

In 2004 I received a call to move to Madison to assist in the planting of a church.  My wife and I prayed long and hard about it and were certain that moving would be an act of obedience to God's call on our lives.  So I left college (against the advice of some friends that still haven't spoken to me since) and we moved.  I still the evening a couple months after we moved.  I met with the lead pastor for dinner and he informed me that my main job in the church would be to start a children's ministry and possible after school program.  I was dumbfounded.  In all of my imagining and dreaming of my future, working with little kids was not even on my radar!  On the way home I called my wife to tell her about the meeting and she too was taken aback.  I asked "How could God have called me to leave college and move and then pull the rug out from under my feet?"  But then the thought hit, "If I am faithful with what God has given, He will give increase."  I ended up having kid's church and teaching kids ranging from the ages of 1-12ish.  I never started an after school program, but I believe God did many good works in the lives of the kids.  And I was given increased opportunity to preach sermons in adult church.  Everything seemed to be going well.  But then, my wife and I began to see things happening that made us uncomfortable.  One week during the musical portion of worship I my soul ached so greatly that I had to run out of the service in tears and hide in the bathroom.  I knew that I needed to step down from my position and pray about my future with the church.  That was my last Sunday with that church.  For the sake of the spiritual well being of my family we needed to remove ourselves from that environment.

I began to wonder, "Had I really heard from God about moving to Madison?"  I started to question everything about my "call" to ministry.  Looking back now, I realize that I was at a crossroads.  One choice was that I could choose the easy road and listen to my head which said to give up on ministry and possibly my Christianity.  The other choice was to take the dark, scary, and difficult road and press on toward the destination my heart was telling me was God's plan.  We started checking out other churches and I made quite a lot of calls to area pastors.  Many church visits left us frustrated and unfulfilled.  And none of my phone calls to pastors were returned... Except for one.  

The pastor of The Journey returned my call and invited me to meet him for coffee.  We talked for about an hour. Well, I talked for about 53 minutes out of that hour.  I gave him the condensed version of our experiences and after I was finished he told me about the vision of The Journey and asked me to pray about what my role would be there.  "I'm good to pray now!" I responded.  So we prayed for a few minutes and I promised him I would come the following Sunday.  

My wife and I have attended since that week and 2 years ago I became one of the pastors.  This past year has been one of the best years I've ever experienced in ministry.  I have had the pleasure of being mentored by the new lead pastor and have come to a better understanding of my gifting and exactly what God has called me to do in service to the kingdom.  This past summer, while speaking at middle school camp in Iowa, God taught me and revealed Himself to me in ways I'd never even imagined possible.  Perhaps, in the future, I will write about these things in greater detail.  But for now, the message that I desire to convey is this:

When things don't go according to your plan, press in!  God has a plan.
When the apostle Paul was in prison he wrote:
2 Timothy 1: 11-12

And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am,  Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

Some times there are detours in life. But thankfully, if we continue to seek direction from God, we will find our way back to the road He has called us to.

Peace!

Back

Whoa, have I really not blogged since may?
Crazy!
A lot has happened in the past four months.
I had the most amazing experiences as the speaker to middle school kids at camp in Iowa.
I hosted my fifth annual BaconFest.
And I have been tasked with beginning a youth group at my church.
Pretty cool stuff!

I'll be attempting to be more regular in my postings.  But I will probably be doing them a bit differently.  I think am going to make it a bit more like a journal.  You know, some place where I can work out my thoughts on the ministry, life and stuff.  Not every entry will be accompanied by great fanfare or links from social media.  So if you feel like it, check back occasionally to see what's going on.
I would suggest subscribing to the page so you can get updates but, so far, I haven't been able to figure out how to add a subscribe button.

Feel free to leave a related comment.  But please remember, this is not a forum for your personal agenda.  I reserve the right to delete comments I deem unfit for my blog.  If you want to go on about other things, start your own blog page.

God bless!
Jimmy!

I Love to Talk!

Saturday night as I was getting out of the car my throat suddenly felt like I had swallowed a sword.  I could barely talk and swallowing even water was almost impossible.  I was freaked out because, if you know me, I love to talk.  Talking is my thing!  I'm an occasional preacher, and spend about eight hours a day on the phone at my other job.  While I'm certain my wife appreciated the peace, I missed talking up my usual storm.  This got me thinking of how I take little things, like the ability to speak, for granted.  I just assume they will always be there.  I began to wonder what else I would hate to do without.  I know it would be awful if I were no longer able to see my wife's beautiful smile.  And cooking/eating would be a major bore if not for the senses of smell and taste.  I have so much for which to be thankful.  Even my (paying) job is a huge blessing.  I get to meet people from every walk of life.  The company is flexible with time off so that I can do things such as speaking at camp.  And I get paid.  It's easy to focus on the negative, but so much better to be grateful for that which we have.

I have been reading Psalms in my morning quiet times  

Here's a really cool one of thanks:

Psalm 138

The Message (MSG)

A David Psalm

138 1-3 Thank you! Everything in me says “Thank you!”

    Angels listen as I sing my thanks.

I kneel in worship facing your holy temple

    and say it again: “Thank you!”

Thank you for your love,

    thank you for your faithfulness;

Most holy is your name,

    most holy is your Word.

The moment I called out, you stepped in;

    you made my life large with strength.

4-6 When they hear what you have to say, God,

    all earth’s kings will say “Thank you.”

They’ll sing of what you’ve done:

    “How great the glory of God!”

And here’s why: God, high above, sees far below;

    no matter the distance, he knows everything about us.

7-8 When I walk into the thick of trouble,

    keep me alive in the angry turmoil.

With one hand

    strike my foes,

With your other hand

    save me.

Finish what you started in me, God.

    Your love is eternal—don’t quit on me now.

Giving thanks is an excellent way of telling God how much we appreciate all he has done.  And it helps us to focus on the positive.

I would love to read what "little things" for which you are thankful that you normally take for granted.  

You Just Never Know

Oh my goodness, I don't know what happened, but it seems like I blinked and 2 weeks came and went.  I actually had the subject for this entry in my head a week ago but lost track of time.  So anyway, A.D.H.D. aside, here we go.

A few weeks ago my wife and I were shopping at our local Farm and Fleet store.  We brought our items (including a bag of Maple Bacon Kettle Chips) to the register.  I got the feeling that the cashier was rather lethargic and it annoyed me a bit.  But I didn't say anything.  As he handed me my receipt I couldn't help but notice how he was doing everything with his left hand and moving rather slowly.  I thought about the work ethic my dad instilled in me that said to never lean or appear lazy on the job and I began getting frustrated.  But my dad also taught me to be polite, so I didn't say anything.  And as he handed the bag to me with that same hand I suddenly noticed something... He was missing his right hand.  Oh my goodness did I feel like a jerk!  Granted I hadn't said anything or treated him poorly, but I had been thinking about it.

A day or so later my sister, Rosa (not her given name but that's what I call her) posted something on Facebook.  It said something about how we don't know the situation of others.  It went on to say that the person with whom we are getting angry might have just lost a loved one or may not be able to afford to eat today.  I immediately thought back to the guy at Farm and Fleet.  What an excellent illustration of the Facebook post.  The cashier's situation was fairly clear.  But not everyone's story is quite so evident.

In the time since, I have been trying to remember this: We don't know what is going on in the lives of others, so I need to cut them some slack.  I've gone through some tough times myself.  Thankfully I have family and friends that have given me the needed grace and love.

Once I understood the reason for what I had perceived as laziness, I made eye contact, smiled and said "Thank you."  This should be my response no matter what.  I'm not to judge who is "worthy" of grace and love.  I'm to disperse them unconditionally.  Maybe if I do that, people will get a better understanding of the love of God.  Who knows, can't hurt!

In the words of Wayne Campbell in Wayne's World, "Be excellent to each other."

Thoughts?  Have you had similar occurrences?  I'd love to read about them.
God bless y'all!

How Much it Too Much?

Not to name-drop, but I was pretty stoked that one of my favorite authors, Donald Miller, tweeted back to my response to his tweet.  Unfortunately I am terrible at presenting a clear and intelligent point within the limitations of 140 characters.  But that's not my point.

Yesterday was Easter Sunday.  Easter is the most important day in Christian faith.  I love everything about the day, the hope, the renewal of life, the time with my church family, and how gorgeous my wife looks in her Easter finest.
But this year was different.  I don't know if it's just because I am more aware or if the world really has taken a sharp turn.  This year, amid all of the wonderful aspects of the day, I found my heart breaking.  This year I couldn't help but notice all of my unchurched friends, and even some that have been brought up in church, posting things on various forms of social media that I found to be offensive.  I found the "Zombie Jesus" jokes and cartoons in particularly disturbing.  Considering the current zombie trend in television and movies, this is not okay.  Zombies are portrayed as mindless, soulless beasts bent on feasting on the flesh of the living.  As Christians, calling Jesus a zombie should piss us off!  (Yes, I typed a slightly offensive word and ended a sentence in a preposition.  That should be some illustration of how angered this makes me.)
Why is it that if someone speaks against other religions they are considered hateful and intolerant, but Christianity is fair game?  Not long ago I saw a picture someone had posted where Jesus and Santa Claus were riding a dinosaur while UFO's were shooting from the sky. I told the person I found it offensive and they basically called me a whiner.  Yet when word got out a while back that there was to be an episode of the cartoon South Park featuring Muhammad, they creators of the show received death threats and were protested.  Why the double standard?
I understand that the Bible warned us this would happen.
1 Corinthians tells us:
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

For the most part, I kept silent on the offensive posts, but I did call out one friend and he totally didn't get it.
I would really like to hear your opinions on this.  First, have you seen the things I've mentioned or similar?  If so, how did you respond?  If not, how would you respond?
I really want to turn the other cheek, but dang, they both are getting pretty tired!

Not Okay, Yet

Greetings,

Some interesting thoughts that I want (or probably need) to share.  I've always been pretty transparent so why change now?

I've been going through some junk with my eyes.  I was born with congenital glaucoma.  In the past I was extremely vigilant about my eye care.  I went to specialists regularly and did an excellent job at taking the necessary medications to keep them under control.  But then came money issues.  I'll spare you the details, except to say that I haven't been properly caring for my eyes.  In the past year I have seen steady degeneration in my vision.  So I finally sought treatment.  For a minute things looked like they were going great and that everything would be better.  During that brief period it was easy for me to be positive.  I had no problem telling people how I had put the situation in God's hands and that I was willing to trust Him no matter the outcome.

But then things didn't go as smoothly as they originally appeared to be headed.  Suddenly the answers that seemed to be miraculously headed my way didn't pan out in the ways I had expected.  Perhaps I misread some of the signs.  But either way I must admit that I'm disappointed.  I've been attempting to mask my disappointment and push through.  I tell myself that the words I said a week ago are still true.  And I really do believe it.  But that doesn't stop me from currently feeling sad, frustrated, and quite a bit scared.  I don't want to go blind!  Even as I type this I tell myself to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding" (Psalms 3:5.)

Here is the thing.  For a change, I'm not running away.  In the past I might have rebelled by crawling in to my own personal pity pit.  I probably would have skipped church and church-related activities.  But this time I have realized how dumb those decisions were in the past.  First Corinthians 12 tells us how we are one body.  I've really been allowing that one to roll around in my brain this week.  I got this strangely weird and very cool image:
Imagine a body having a broken leg.  It doesn't just lay in bed until the leg gets around to mending.  The arms grab a pair of crutches in order to help the body continue to move as necessary until the leg is strong enough to resume its assigned role.

I went to church yesterday.  I think I did a decent job of not wearing my emotions on my sleeve.  But at the same time, when asked, I was honest.  I shared with at least two arms, Karen and Mark, how I was feeling.  These friends didn't tell me I was dumb for feeling that way.  (Funny thought, just as with crutches, if we rely on armpits we're going to be in a great deal of pain; it's important to share our struggles with those who won't put us down for feeling the way we do.)  Instead, these arms shared the load and promised to pray.  And they built me up with words of encouragement.  They didn't chastise me for my past failures in getting treatment (which an armpit would do.)  They had compassion.  I was again reminded how God is in control.  And even if things go differently than I would like, I am part of a body.  I'm still working through my feelings as far as my eyes are concerned.  But I know that with God, and the body of Christ, everything will be okay.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you or forsake you.  Do not fear or be dismayed- Deuteronomy 31:8

Makes Scents

I love coffee shops!
I especially love the small independent shops; the ones where the machines are, at times, too loud to hear my conversations.  This morning I was in one such shop.  

I met with a couple men from church for a coffee, Bible study, and prayer.  It was a fantastic time and I highly recommend any dudes that are free on Monday mornings to join us.  I left spiritually refreshed and energized.  And I left smelling of freshly roasted coffee.
I love that smell!  As soon as I got in the car I noticed how strong the scent.  It got me to thinking. 

I was reminded of how many of us go to church on Sunday to get our weekly pick-me-up.  A lot of times we leave ready to conquer the world.  But sadly, like the scent of freshly roasted coffee, our drive to influence the world for Jesus often fades after a day or two.  

Church is great!  Please don't read otherwise.  I love gathering as the body of Christ.  But when we seek God, devote time to reading of the Word and prayer daily, the scent of God's presence stays with us.
How great would that be?
How cool would it be if in the same way you could tell that someone had spent an hour and a half in a coffee shop people could smell, hear, see Jesus on us all day every day?

For the past eight months or so I have made the effort to devote time for a personal quiet time.  That phrase used to intimidate me.  My brain told me that if I didn't have an amazing, supra natural experience where I spent hours in the Bible and angels sang to me, that I had failed.  But then I started reading a chapter or so each day and spending a couple minutes talking/listening to God.  Now, just as I crave that first cup of coffee in the morning, I crave my time with God.
I believe I carry His scent throughout the day.
And I don't ever want it to fade! 

Jimmy: The Spoiled Brat

I was blessed as a child.  Not just because I was in a loving environment, but also because (not saying this to brag,) we were also pretty well off financially.  If my mom and dad ever struggled to pay the bills or put food on the table I was never aware.  At Christmastime in our home the stack of presents spilled out from the tree and occupied half of the family room.  I got pretty much anything I requested as gifts.  I was not very accustomed to the word "No."

Why do I tell you this?  Because I still struggle with receiving "No" with grace.  Last year, when my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer I asked God to take it away and give him more time.  It was an honest request.  My dad was the most selfless, caring, kindest man I have ever known.  Why should he have to suffer?  But he still died.  And I learned something... In the midst of our sorrow God was still there.  I didn't rebel.  I didn't say "God's not listening so I'm not going to waste my time talking."  I kept attending church.  I kept surrounding myself with the family of believers.  Our lead pastor, Thomas, prayed with me and shared words that gave me great comfort.   I'm paraphrasing because this is the way I remember them speaking to me:
Jesus taught us to pray for God's will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven.  In Heaven there is no sickness, no suffering, no pain.  Your dad my not have been healed in the way we would have liked, but he is in Heaven.  He IS healed.  He is with Jesus.

Fast forward to February.
Thomas preached on the portion of the book of Mark 5, and the story of a woman who has been suffering with a bleeding issue for many years.  The woman had tried everything.  She had exhausted her finances seeking a cure.  Finally, she heard about Jesus. And she heard that He would be in the area so she sought him.  Mark tells us that the woman told herself "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.  So she reached out and touched his robe and immediately the bleeding stopped and she was healed.  It's a great story and if you haven't read it, check it out Here.
After the message, we had a chance to pray for one another.  I prayed with/for some of the members and it was great.  But during the closing song I felt a burning in my eyes and my heart started beating rapidly.  I have been struggling with eyesight that has been rapidly degenerating.  I rarely drive at night because of it and am scared that I may have to give up driving all together one day.  That coupled with the fact that I can't afford insurance to get the treatment I should probably be receiving all came to a head in that moment.  So I asked Thomas if we could pray specifically, as a body, for the healing of my eyes.  When the song ended we did just that.  I was a wreck!  I even cried.  I know that the God who made me is capable of giving me perfect vision.  I have participated prayer time when people have been healed.  This time, when we were done, my friend Erik asked "Do you see a notable change?"  Sadly I had to tell him and the church that I did not.

So what does that mean?  Has God stopped listening to me?  Does he hate me?  Is he trying to tell me that he doesn't care?
NO!
Those are the lies of the enemy!  I still believe, and will continue to ask for healing.  But God isn't Santa Claus.  He is the Lord of my life.  And he is far more wise than I.  So i will continue to follow him.  I will press in against the storm.  And the results may not ever end up being to my liking.  But my life is not mine.  I have given it over to God.  All I can do is live for him to the best of my ability.
Maybe there is hope that I'll stop being a spoiled brat yet.  

Growth

 My church celebrated its ninth year anniversary a couple of months ago.  In past years the founding pastor would bring his son, who was the same age as the church before the congregation as a visual aid to illustrate each year.  

For some reason I have had this on my mind as of late.  Maybe it's because this is the first year that young Conner was not present.  But here are my thoughts.

We must continually grow.  

The things Conner did at 1 are not cute for an 9 year old.  

If his vocabulary was limited to "Mama" and "Dada" now, we would think there were a problem.  

In that, I would hope that my vocabulary has changed over the years.  Are the words I speak blessing others?  Or as soon as things don't go according to my plan do I throw a verbal temper tantrum?

Conner outgrew diapers years ago.  

I'd like to think that I am not making the same mistakes I did 9 years ago.  And when I do have an accident, I hope I don't need someone to swoop in and clean up the mess I've made.  (Perfect spot for a dirty diaper reference but I'll spare you.  See?  I can grow!)

The main form of communication in babies is to cry.  And when that doesn't work, they cry.  

Now that he's older Conner is able to articulate his needs to his parents.  

As I mature spiritually, I have learned that if I'm in an emotionally difficult place I need to speak up!  And just as Conner has learned to trust in the love of his parents, I have learned to find those I can trust.  As I struggle, at times, carrying what seems to be the weight of the world, I have learned to find wise counsel who not only help carry the load, but point out when I'm holding unnecessary baggage.  I have learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.  But rather at times, it is one of the strongest things we can do.

So I challenge you, faithful reader, ask yourself these questions:

Am I growing?
Am I struggling with the same issues I was a year, two, or even nine years ago? 

If so, what is holding me back?  And is there someone I can go to for help.

Peace,

Jimmy