Identity

I'm going to let you in on a secret.  Up until this point it's been known only by those with whom I am closest.  But here it is: Quite often I am an insecure wreck.  I'm not saying this for sympathy.  The following is basically me processing my thoughts.  I felt the need to be transparent.  And, who knows, maybe my journey will assist someone who is in a similar situation.

Yesterday I was telling someone I've known, pretty much forever, the story of something that happened while my wife and I were out this weekend.  (Please excuse me for being vague, it is not my intent to "call out" anyone in a negative light.)  I told of how my dental "flipper" had broken and how embarrassed and freaked out I was.  And I mentioned that, even though I had done a temporary fix with Super Glue, I was eating without it until I get something more sturdy.  They responded by saying "If I were your wife I'd eat in the other room!"

I later told my sweet wife about what was said.  And I told her that I responded by saying how fortunate that I'm married to a wonderful woman who loves me and thinks I'm cute no matter what.  But as we were talking I said "I've heard these kind of things my whole life.  Is it any wonder I'm so freaking insecure?"

I've really been giving this a lot of thought.  I received a really good word at around 2 am, (why do my best thoughts usually come when I should be asleep?)   I typed it but forgot to save.  But it went something like this:

     When we spend a major portion of our lives subjected to disapproving remarks which result in continual blows to the heart, it's understandable why one would spend exert a great deal of time and energy seeking the approval of others.
Now here's the interesting part.  Recently, I've actually been in a bit of a rebirth.  I've kind of felt like God has had me let go of all of the things that I thought made me feel secure and all of the things I thought I knew about myself.  He has been teaching me that my identity, who I really am, is grounded in Him and His love.   I'm blessed to have a wonderful wife, my earthly reason for existence who loves me unconditionally.  And I'm part of the most incredible pastoral staff who has been walking this journey with me and has truly loved me in a way that can only be described as the greatest human example of the love of Christ.  
The scars caused by years and years of taking fire are beginning to heal.  I have the ultimate shield in Him.
I'm not going to say that the words that person said didn't hurt.  But it's like God deflected the arrow aimed at my heart.  This time, instead of a mortal blow, its just a flesh wound!

If this speaks to you, then it was all worth it.  The first step in the healing processes begin is started when we seek to find our identity in Him.

Seriously Jimmy's 2014 in Review

Whoa, January 5, 2015 already!
I thought today would be a great time to review some of the highlights of last year.

The beginning of 2014 was pretty tame.  It seemed like I blinked and it was summer.  Or perhaps that's a result of being almost 50!
But summer was super sweet.

Some of my favorite times were the walks my wife and I would take with our dog.  They are always filled with great talks and a whole lot of laughter!  I'm continually in awe of how fortunate I am to be married to my best friend in the whole world!

I've seen God working in the mending of some relationships that had been injured.  This has been so great!  It has given me hope for even better times to come!

In August I had the honor of being the speaker at the Iowa Foursquare Middle School Camp.  It was awesome!  God really moved in the lives of the kids.  We saw about a third of them make either first time decisions to follow God or rededicate their lives to Him.  And I really felt God moving in my own life.

When I returned from camp I held my annual BaconFest.  This one was the best so far!  It's a great way for the friends from all areas of my life- work, church, and the neighborhood to get together for fun and bacon!

The following week, I met with the lead pastors from our church, The Journey, for my yearly review.  In the meeting they asked me to start a youth group.  After the week I had at camp, I knew it was what God was calling me to.  So I began praying for wisdom on how to begin.
It didn't take long for one answer to come.  Long story short, I felt prompted to ask a friend who was moving back to Madison to join the youth team.
The awesome thing was that, about ten minutes before I sent the message inviting her to be a part of the ministry, she had been praying about the Journey and asking God to use her in starting one!
So she joined us in September.  She has played a huge role ever since!  She leads a weekly Bible study (PB&J- Prayer, Bible, and Journal) for middle school girls.
In November we had our first youth event. We took the kids bowling.  We had a great turn out and everyone had a great time!
In December we held a Christmas party for them.  It was a whole lot of fun and I got to share with the kids why we, as Christians, celebrate Christmas.  It was neat to look into the eyes of some kids who had never really heard about Jesus and why He was born!

Other great things (not in chronological order) are:
I bought a ukulele and am slowly learning to play.
I've gotten some opportunities to preach at The Journey.  I love getting to share the Word!
Ooh, and I have even gotten to sing on the worship team a couple of times!  That was super fun!
This year has been so filled with so many friends.  I've been blessed to grow closer to the ones I had and make new ones.
My wife, friends, and family are what makes my life so wonderful!
I am so thankful that I'm able to share the good times with them and that they are my rock when times get tough.

What's in store for 2015?
Well, next Sunday, we are starting Youth Night!
We'll be meeting in our Youth Director's apartment (we're praying for God to bring us to a larger place soon.)  We plan on this being a great way to facilitate their spiritual journeys.
And I'll be starting a boy's PB&J this month!  So far we have 1 boy, and he's a great kid who loves Jesus.  I can't wait to see how God grows our study.
And it's never too early to start thinking about getting the kids to camp!  We're going to start fund raising soon to help offset some of the cost for them to go.

So there you go!
I'd love it if you'd pray for wisdom for me as I get the honor of being used by God in our ministry.

Freeing Words

I met with my Youth Pastor in training today.  She spoke, as she often does about her love for the girls she has been privileged to lead.  While talking she seemed a bit overwhelmed.  She has such love and compassion for the girls.  While talking I felt like God was telling me to tell her, "God didn't call us to fix them, He called us to love them."  Her face showed that it was exactly what she needed to hear in that moment.  We talked a bit about how freeing of a thought it was.
As I drove home from the coffee shop I began to think that it is an excellent word for all of us.

I think that there are times we feel overwhelmed by the world's need for Jesus.  We see the need but we often feel unqualified to meet it.  News flash of the day, we are unqualified.  But here's the really cool part, we know the One who is.  When we realize that God hasn't called us to fix them but to just love them everything changes.  Some times we feel unprepared.  Maybe we don't have the Bible memorized.  We might not be able to quote scripture at a moment's notice.  Or we might be inexperienced.  That's fine!  We are simply called to love them.  This means that the best way to be prepared, equipped, and ready is by growing in our relationship with God.  When we learn what His love is, we learn how to love like He does.  His love is perfect.
As I wrote this I was reminded of this passage:

1 Corinthians 13 New Living Translation (NLT)

Love Is the Greatest

13 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

I pray this word blesses you.

Jimmy

Hats and Stuff

This January I begin my third year as a pastor at The Journey. In the past two years I've worn many pastoral hats.  I think I have tried many to see which would be exactly the right fit.  Then God showed me the one He had waiting for me to wear.

This past August I spoke at middle school camp in Iowa.  In the months leading up to camp I spent hour after hour in prayer.  I sought God for guidance and direction.  One of the things he told me when I was praying was "Just be who I made you to be and I'll do the rest."  And boy did He!  That week we saw about half the kids make first time decisions to give their lives to God or to rededicate themselves to Him.

So when I got home from camp and met with the lead pastors of the church, and they asked me to start a youth ministry, I couldn't possibly refuse. I approached the assignment in the same way I had with camp.  PRAYER.  I asked for guidance and direction.  And this time I asked for one more thing, HELP!  A couple weeks, while still praying for help, I learned that someone I sort of, kind of knew was moving back to Madison.  I really felt God prompting me to contact her and ask her to be part of the youth ministry.  It just so happened that, ten minutes before I had contacted her she had been praying about The Journey and asking God how she could minister to the youth of Madison!  I love when God does cool stuff like that!
So we started with two kids and a lot of prayer.  She is now leading the girls in a weekly Bible study that has an average of about eight!  I'll be leading one for the boys after the first of the year.  And in January we will be kicking off Sunday Youth Night!  Please excuse all of the exclamation points, I'm just super-excited

We are even have even taken on two more great leaders.
Our goal is pretty simple.  We want kids to facilitate them in a relationship with God.  We believe that by doing so lives will change!  Heck, Madison will change!  Not because of how cool we are, but because of how awesome God is.  He is the one that can bring salvation, not only in the eternal (which is amazing in and of itself.) But through Him, comes healing, forgiveness, and love that is such a great need in the lives of kids today.  

I am stoked!  I love my "Youth pastor hat" and am honored to wear it.

I can't wait to see what God has in store!  

And I ask that you pray.

Please pray for the kids.

Please pray for the leaders.

And please pray for me as I lead this great team of leaders.

God bless y'all!

Seriously Jimmy, Again?

Yesterday a dear friend pointed out something to me.  I had just made a self deprecating comment. She pulled me aside so as to not embarrass me in front of others and brought it to my attention.  She is one of those close friends who knows some of my big struggles in life.  In a nutshell she reminded me that, if I want to be taken seriously, I need to take myself seriously and especially stop saying negative/joking remarks about myself.
It was one of those light bulb moments.  And to further drive home the point, I realized something that had happened in the midst.  What I said was a bit negative.  What she heard was exponentially worse.  It made me really think.  I could totally see myself saying what she thought she had heard.  I have a tendency to make "jokes" in order to mask my times of self doubt.  But what oft times happens is that I set myself up for failure.  It could be failure in what I am doing or that I've already sewed seeds of negativity in the minds of those who are on the receiving end.  The funny thing is that when I hear my wife or friends speaking similar words about themselves, I usually jump in and correct such actions.  So why don't I do it for myself?  Well from now on I will try to do better!
One other thing she told me was "Geev um!" which is Pidgin for try you best, go for it, don't give up!  I like that!  I told myself that as I was singing in church and in singing I reminded myself "'Geev um' (God) all of you."
I'm going to work on making that my new default setting.  When I'm feeling nervous, unqualified, or uncertain of my abilities I'm gonna "geev um!"
And I'll do my best to seriously be "Seriously Jimmy."

It's okay to live

A year ago today my dad passed away.
Losing him was, without a doubt, the hardest thing I've experienced thus far in life.  But, in the midst of our family (and the world's) loss I realized something: It's okay for me to live.
Last night my wife and I were watching The Voice on television.  One of the ladies talked about how she had not sung since her father died three years ago.  While I acknowledge that we all deal with grief differently I couldn't help but think of how she unnecessarily robbed herself.  Do I miss my dad?  Yes!  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him.  There are many days that I try to incorporate at least one article of his clothing in my wardrobe.  I guess it's my way of feeling close to him.  Watching the show last night I couldn't help but wonder what my dad would have thought.  And knowing him like I do, I'm certain he would be saddened if, in my grief I were to give up the things that bring me joy.  Knowing my dad made me a better person.  As a result, I have decided that the best way for me to honor the memory of his life is to try my best to be the kind of person that would make him proud.  I can't guarantee I'll always measure up, but I'm sure going to try.

I have found comfort in the knowledge that, as a young man, my dad gave his life to God.  From that point on he did his best to live his life in a way that was pleasing to his Heavenly Father.  As a result, I have faith that he is spending eternity in the presence of the Lord.  And some day, when my time is up, we will be reunited.

I know that there are many who have experienced their own most difficult losses.  And I hope you don't interpret what I have written as insensitive to your loss.  Rather, I hope to encourage and bring hope.  

Detours

In 2004 I received a call to move to Madison to assist in the planting of a church.  My wife and I prayed long and hard about it and were certain that moving would be an act of obedience to God's call on our lives.  So I left college (against the advice of some friends that still haven't spoken to me since) and we moved.  I still the evening a couple months after we moved.  I met with the lead pastor for dinner and he informed me that my main job in the church would be to start a children's ministry and possible after school program.  I was dumbfounded.  In all of my imagining and dreaming of my future, working with little kids was not even on my radar!  On the way home I called my wife to tell her about the meeting and she too was taken aback.  I asked "How could God have called me to leave college and move and then pull the rug out from under my feet?"  But then the thought hit, "If I am faithful with what God has given, He will give increase."  I ended up having kid's church and teaching kids ranging from the ages of 1-12ish.  I never started an after school program, but I believe God did many good works in the lives of the kids.  And I was given increased opportunity to preach sermons in adult church.  Everything seemed to be going well.  But then, my wife and I began to see things happening that made us uncomfortable.  One week during the musical portion of worship I my soul ached so greatly that I had to run out of the service in tears and hide in the bathroom.  I knew that I needed to step down from my position and pray about my future with the church.  That was my last Sunday with that church.  For the sake of the spiritual well being of my family we needed to remove ourselves from that environment.

I began to wonder, "Had I really heard from God about moving to Madison?"  I started to question everything about my "call" to ministry.  Looking back now, I realize that I was at a crossroads.  One choice was that I could choose the easy road and listen to my head which said to give up on ministry and possibly my Christianity.  The other choice was to take the dark, scary, and difficult road and press on toward the destination my heart was telling me was God's plan.  We started checking out other churches and I made quite a lot of calls to area pastors.  Many church visits left us frustrated and unfulfilled.  And none of my phone calls to pastors were returned... Except for one.  

The pastor of The Journey returned my call and invited me to meet him for coffee.  We talked for about an hour. Well, I talked for about 53 minutes out of that hour.  I gave him the condensed version of our experiences and after I was finished he told me about the vision of The Journey and asked me to pray about what my role would be there.  "I'm good to pray now!" I responded.  So we prayed for a few minutes and I promised him I would come the following Sunday.  

My wife and I have attended since that week and 2 years ago I became one of the pastors.  This past year has been one of the best years I've ever experienced in ministry.  I have had the pleasure of being mentored by the new lead pastor and have come to a better understanding of my gifting and exactly what God has called me to do in service to the kingdom.  This past summer, while speaking at middle school camp in Iowa, God taught me and revealed Himself to me in ways I'd never even imagined possible.  Perhaps, in the future, I will write about these things in greater detail.  But for now, the message that I desire to convey is this:

When things don't go according to your plan, press in!  God has a plan.
When the apostle Paul was in prison he wrote:
2 Timothy 1: 11-12

And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am,  Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

Some times there are detours in life. But thankfully, if we continue to seek direction from God, we will find our way back to the road He has called us to.

Peace!