I have a room in our duplex in which I keep my clothes. In it, there’s a bed and some of my favorite things I’ve collected through the years. It’s kind of a sanctuary, my personal “man cave.” I, admittedly, have difficulty keeping it clean and organized. When my wonderful wife does the laundry, she puts my clothes on the bed for me to hang or place in the proper drawers. More often than I’d like to admit, I ended up simply moving the items to the floor to make room for my lazy butt to chill on the bed (much to the chagrin of my wife.) One day it hit me. The words of my dad rang in my ears loud and clear. I remember how he once (probably more than once, but I used to be a dumb kid who didn’t hear things the first hundred times) told me something regarding the space in which I worked when he was my first boss:
“Your work space sets the tone for everything you do. A messy space leads to messy work and an even messier attitude.”
The words just happened to come to me in the midst of a particularly time in my life. I had been experiencing some messy patches in both of my jobs and, as a result, was in a downward spiral- a story for another day. If you know me, you know that my dad was/is my hero. So when the words came to me, I was fairly certain that God was using them to convey a message in the only way I’d listen.
One day when my wife was at work, I decided to tackle the task at hand. It looked like an enormous clothing eating monster had a bout of projectile vomit and spewed on everything! But I was determined. The first thing I realized was that I was holding on to useless crap. Some of the things which were just some things of which I needed to let go. When my dad died, I brought home a car full of his clothes, shoes and other items. I often wear many of the good shirts and shoes. There was also quite a few things which were too worn or didn’t fit. I hung on to belts that were too big or broken, simply because I didn’t want to let go. But, that day, I had an epiphany. I came to see that I could keep the useful and precious things; but the things which were of no use were hindering me from my goal. I’m not going to sugar coat and tell you it was an easy task; it was actually quite difficult. Saying goodbye to the sentimental items I held dear sucked. But here’s the interesting thing. After the tears, and a few garbage bags had been cleared, I was able to focus on the good. The room was spotless. And I felt a sense of pride I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Another amazing result was that the good things that I kept suddenly became even more precious! Without all the useless clutter, I was able to focus on the beauty.
I’m proud to say that I have maintained the room. When laundry is placed on my bed (side note: she spoils me and rarely allows me to do laundry) I immediately put it where it belongs. And I’ve come to see it as a metaphor for my life. There was a TON of clutter in my life. I have carried some emotional clutter for quite some time. I’ve begun a mission to rid my life of the useless garbage I’ve carried and held close for years. Item by item, I ask myself, “Is this something I can use? Or is this just something that is hindering me from the decluttered life I deserve to live?” Whoa, I’m starting to tear up as I type this. Not long ago, I shared individually with my wife and a few others with whom I trust my life, how I felt I didn’t deserve to take care of myself or have anything of value. Just now is the first time the thought came to me without hesitation, “I deserve a life unencumbered by crap that keeps me from shining!”
That’s huge! Somewhere along the way, I’ve given myself permission to be happy. I finally see that the hurt placed upon me by others does not define me. And when things in my life haven’t gone the way I thought they should I have not failed. I am not a failure! No longer will I have emotional clutter keeping me from the life I deserve!
Sometimes that’s not as easy as carrying a few Hefty bags out to the trash. It takes far longer than one Saturday afternoon. I’m sure there will still be some rough patches. But anything worth doing is worth fighting for. I am worth fighting for! Just like the decluttered room helped me to focus on the precious, I’ve come to see myself a precious. That’s a freaking amazing feeling and one that I haven’t felt in what seems like ages!
So I finally am willing to fight for the life in which I’m called. I’ll continue to read God’s word for direction and lean on the precious people who love me.
Well, maybe this spoke to you. I sure hope so. If so, I’d love to hear (here, or privately.) In the meantime, Let me say that YOU are worth fighting for!
God bless y'all!
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Oomea Loompa and life
I'm not good at waiting.
When I want something, I want it now!
I'm reminded of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. She was a spoiled brat who pitched a fit to get what she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't practical, she demanded her daddy indulge her every desire.
My hearing aid is 6 years old. It's pretty much at the end of its life. So today, I went to check out a new one. The new aid wasn't exactly what I had in mind. And it was really pricey ($2300.) But I wanted to solve my hearing situation right now. I sat down to fill out the paperwork to finance the purchase. But before I could even write my name, I realized it was a decision I should discuss with my wife before going further. So I thanked the audiologist for his time and said that I needed time to think about it. As I drove home I decided that I need to be wise in my decision. While it makes perfect sense to wait until I know I'm making the best choice, I couldn't help but get angry. "I want my hearing woes solved immediately! I don't want to wait! Why can't I have what I want when I want it?" Those were just a few of this spoiled brat's thoughts. I pouted for a few minutes and then it hit me. I was pushing for something based on emotions. Would I be better able to hear? Yes. But how much have I researched? How confident am I that I'm choosing the best possible option? I wouldn't buy the first car I saw just because it's shiny. So why jump at the first hearing aid I've tried? A decision like this takes wisdom. Probably more wisdom than I possess. It would be a good idea to discuss it with family and friends. And while I'm at it, I bet God would be happy to help me figure out what to do.
Realizing this has brought me peace. I can wait. And in doing so, when the time comes to actually purchase a hearing aid, I can be confident in my decision.
So I guess this spoiled brat is learning!
Proverbs 3:5-6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.
Maybe an Oompha Loompa isn't what I need at this point in time. Maybe God has something in store that willblow me away. I don't want to get ahead of what He's doing.
At 50 (for about another week and a half) I'm still learning this. But I'm excited to see what happens next!
When I want something, I want it now!
I'm reminded of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. She was a spoiled brat who pitched a fit to get what she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't practical, she demanded her daddy indulge her every desire.
My hearing aid is 6 years old. It's pretty much at the end of its life. So today, I went to check out a new one. The new aid wasn't exactly what I had in mind. And it was really pricey ($2300.) But I wanted to solve my hearing situation right now. I sat down to fill out the paperwork to finance the purchase. But before I could even write my name, I realized it was a decision I should discuss with my wife before going further. So I thanked the audiologist for his time and said that I needed time to think about it. As I drove home I decided that I need to be wise in my decision. While it makes perfect sense to wait until I know I'm making the best choice, I couldn't help but get angry. "I want my hearing woes solved immediately! I don't want to wait! Why can't I have what I want when I want it?" Those were just a few of this spoiled brat's thoughts. I pouted for a few minutes and then it hit me. I was pushing for something based on emotions. Would I be better able to hear? Yes. But how much have I researched? How confident am I that I'm choosing the best possible option? I wouldn't buy the first car I saw just because it's shiny. So why jump at the first hearing aid I've tried? A decision like this takes wisdom. Probably more wisdom than I possess. It would be a good idea to discuss it with family and friends. And while I'm at it, I bet God would be happy to help me figure out what to do.
Realizing this has brought me peace. I can wait. And in doing so, when the time comes to actually purchase a hearing aid, I can be confident in my decision.
So I guess this spoiled brat is learning!
Proverbs 3:5-6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.
Maybe an Oompha Loompa isn't what I need at this point in time. Maybe God has something in store that willblow me away. I don't want to get ahead of what He's doing.
At 50 (for about another week and a half) I'm still learning this. But I'm excited to see what happens next!
Oomea Loompa and life
I'm not good at waiting.
When I want something, I want it now!
I'm reminded of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. She was a spoiled brat who pitched a fit to get what she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't practical, she demanded her daddy indulge her every desire.
My hearing aid is 6 years old. It's pretty much at the end of its life. So today, I went to check out a new one. The new aid wasn't exactly what I had in mind. And it was really pricey ($2300.) But I wanted to solve my hearing situation right now. I sat down to fill out the paperwork to finance the purchase. But before I could even write my name, I realized it was a decision I should discuss with my wife before going further. So I thanked the audiologist for his time and said that I needed time to think about it. As I drove home I decided that I need to be wise in my decision. While it makes perfect sense to wait until I know I'm making the best choice, I couldn't help but get angry. "I want my hearing woes solved immediately! I don't want to wait! Why can't I have what I want when I want it?" Those were just a few of this spoiled brat's thoughts. I pouted for a few minutes and then it hit me. I was pushing for something based on emotions. Would I be better able to hear? Yes. But how much have I researched? How confident am I that I'm choosing the best possible option? I wouldn't buy the first car I saw just because it's shiny. So why jump at the first hearing aid I've tried? A decision like this takes wisdom. Probably more wisdom than I possess. It would be a good idea to discuss it with family and friends. And while I'm at it, I bet God would be happy to help me figure out what to do.
Realizing this has brought me peace. I can wait. And in doing so, when the time comes to actually purchase a hearing aid, I can be confident in my decision.
So I guess this spoiled brat is learning!
Proverbs 3:5-6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.
Maybe an Oompha Loompa isn't what I need at this point in time. Maybe God has something in store that willblow me away. I don't want to get ahead of what He's doing.
At 50 (for about another week and a half) I'm still learning this. But I'm excited to see what happens next!
When I want something, I want it now!
I'm reminded of Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. She was a spoiled brat who pitched a fit to get what she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't practical, she demanded her daddy indulge her every desire.
My hearing aid is 6 years old. It's pretty much at the end of its life. So today, I went to check out a new one. The new aid wasn't exactly what I had in mind. And it was really pricey ($2300.) But I wanted to solve my hearing situation right now. I sat down to fill out the paperwork to finance the purchase. But before I could even write my name, I realized it was a decision I should discuss with my wife before going further. So I thanked the audiologist for his time and said that I needed time to think about it. As I drove home I decided that I need to be wise in my decision. While it makes perfect sense to wait until I know I'm making the best choice, I couldn't help but get angry. "I want my hearing woes solved immediately! I don't want to wait! Why can't I have what I want when I want it?" Those were just a few of this spoiled brat's thoughts. I pouted for a few minutes and then it hit me. I was pushing for something based on emotions. Would I be better able to hear? Yes. But how much have I researched? How confident am I that I'm choosing the best possible option? I wouldn't buy the first car I saw just because it's shiny. So why jump at the first hearing aid I've tried? A decision like this takes wisdom. Probably more wisdom than I possess. It would be a good idea to discuss it with family and friends. And while I'm at it, I bet God would be happy to help me figure out what to do.
Realizing this has brought me peace. I can wait. And in doing so, when the time comes to actually purchase a hearing aid, I can be confident in my decision.
So I guess this spoiled brat is learning!
Proverbs 3:5-6 says
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight.
Maybe an Oompha Loompa isn't what I need at this point in time. Maybe God has something in store that willblow me away. I don't want to get ahead of what He's doing.
At 50 (for about another week and a half) I'm still learning this. But I'm excited to see what happens next!
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Monday, March 2, 2015
Victory
In my last post I wrote about some of my wrestles with insecurity. So I've been thinking a lot about that and how to overcome some of those things. Today I thought I'd share.
I will never find peace in living to please the world. So why should I try? But when we live to please God, we WILL find everything we need.
I pray that this word blesses you.
I've come to the realization that I cannot conquer these issues on my own. So then, what can I do? For me, the thing that has had the greatest impact is to turn to God. In the past I've just been like "Okay God, you know what I'm going through, fix it!" And then I've sat around and waited. And waited. But now I've come to the realization that I need to be an active participant in the healing process. What I've found to be best for me is to shift my focus. I'm learning that the best thing I can do is to spend time with Him. I'm learning that the more I know God, the more I understand who He is. He is showing me His heart. In that, I'm discovering how He sees me. When we learn about His perfect love, it's easier to set aside the way the world has conditioned us to see ourselves. God loves us for who we are. He wants the best for us! Sure there are things in me that might need to change. But the spirit of defeat does not come from God. He sees these changes as victory! How freeing is that? Instead of feeling discouraged because I have so far to go, what would happen if I looked at every challenge as an opportunity for growth and potential for victory? That changes everything! It motivates me to find my strength in Him. And it helps me to focus on the God that loves me so much that He gave His Son to save me! It gives new meaning to James 4:8:
Come close to God and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.
Come close to God and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.
I will never find peace in living to please the world. So why should I try? But when we live to please God, we WILL find everything we need.
I pray that this word blesses you.
Peace,
Jimmy
Monday, February 16, 2015
Identity
I'm going to let you in on a secret. Up until this point it's been known only by those with whom I am closest. But here it is: Quite often I am an insecure wreck. I'm not saying this for sympathy. The following is basically me processing my thoughts. I felt the need to be transparent. And, who knows, maybe my journey will assist someone who is in a similar situation.
Yesterday I was telling someone I've known, pretty much forever, the story of something that happened while my wife and I were out this weekend. (Please excuse me for being vague, it is not my intent to "call out" anyone in a negative light.) I told of how my dental "flipper" had broken and how embarrassed and freaked out I was. And I mentioned that, even though I had done a temporary fix with Super Glue, I was eating without it until I get something more sturdy. They responded by saying "If I were your wife I'd eat in the other room!"
I later told my sweet wife about what was said. And I told her that I responded by saying how fortunate that I'm married to a wonderful woman who loves me and thinks I'm cute no matter what. But as we were talking I said "I've heard these kind of things my whole life. Is it any wonder I'm so freaking insecure?"
I've really been giving this a lot of thought. I received a really good word at around 2 am, (why do my best thoughts usually come when I should be asleep?) I typed it but forgot to save. But it went something like this:
When we spend a major portion of our lives subjected to disapproving remarks which result in continual blows to the heart, it's understandable why one would spend exert a great deal of time and energy seeking the approval of others.
Now here's the interesting part. Recently, I've actually been in a bit of a rebirth. I've kind of felt like God has had me let go of all of the things that I thought made me feel secure and all of the things I thought I knew about myself. He has been teaching me that my identity, who I really am, is grounded in Him and His love. I'm blessed to have a wonderful wife, my earthly reason for existence who loves me unconditionally. And I'm part of the most incredible pastoral staff who has been walking this journey with me and has truly loved me in a way that can only be described as the greatest human example of the love of Christ.
The scars caused by years and years of taking fire are beginning to heal. I have the ultimate shield in Him.
I'm not going to say that the words that person said didn't hurt. But it's like God deflected the arrow aimed at my heart. This time, instead of a mortal blow, its just a flesh wound!
If this speaks to you, then it was all worth it. The first step in the healing processes begin is started when we seek to find our identity in Him.
Yesterday I was telling someone I've known, pretty much forever, the story of something that happened while my wife and I were out this weekend. (Please excuse me for being vague, it is not my intent to "call out" anyone in a negative light.) I told of how my dental "flipper" had broken and how embarrassed and freaked out I was. And I mentioned that, even though I had done a temporary fix with Super Glue, I was eating without it until I get something more sturdy. They responded by saying "If I were your wife I'd eat in the other room!"
I later told my sweet wife about what was said. And I told her that I responded by saying how fortunate that I'm married to a wonderful woman who loves me and thinks I'm cute no matter what. But as we were talking I said "I've heard these kind of things my whole life. Is it any wonder I'm so freaking insecure?"
I've really been giving this a lot of thought. I received a really good word at around 2 am, (why do my best thoughts usually come when I should be asleep?) I typed it but forgot to save. But it went something like this:
When we spend a major portion of our lives subjected to disapproving remarks which result in continual blows to the heart, it's understandable why one would spend exert a great deal of time and energy seeking the approval of others.
Now here's the interesting part. Recently, I've actually been in a bit of a rebirth. I've kind of felt like God has had me let go of all of the things that I thought made me feel secure and all of the things I thought I knew about myself. He has been teaching me that my identity, who I really am, is grounded in Him and His love. I'm blessed to have a wonderful wife, my earthly reason for existence who loves me unconditionally. And I'm part of the most incredible pastoral staff who has been walking this journey with me and has truly loved me in a way that can only be described as the greatest human example of the love of Christ.
The scars caused by years and years of taking fire are beginning to heal. I have the ultimate shield in Him.
I'm not going to say that the words that person said didn't hurt. But it's like God deflected the arrow aimed at my heart. This time, instead of a mortal blow, its just a flesh wound!
If this speaks to you, then it was all worth it. The first step in the healing processes begin is started when we seek to find our identity in Him.
Monday, January 5, 2015
Seriously Jimmy's 2014 in Review
Whoa, January 5, 2015 already!
I thought today would be a great time to review some of the highlights of last year.
The beginning of 2014 was pretty tame. It seemed like I blinked and it was summer. Or perhaps that's a result of being almost 50!
But summer was super sweet.
Some of my favorite times were the walks my wife and I would take with our dog. They are always filled with great talks and a whole lot of laughter! I'm continually in awe of how fortunate I am to be married to my best friend in the whole world!
I've seen God working in the mending of some relationships that had been injured. This has been so great! It has given me hope for even better times to come!
In August I had the honor of being the speaker at the Iowa Foursquare Middle School Camp. It was awesome! God really moved in the lives of the kids. We saw about a third of them make either first time decisions to follow God or rededicate their lives to Him. And I really felt God moving in my own life.
When I returned from camp I held my annual BaconFest. This one was the best so far! It's a great way for the friends from all areas of my life- work, church, and the neighborhood to get together for fun and bacon!
The following week, I met with the lead pastors from our church, The Journey, for my yearly review. In the meeting they asked me to start a youth group. After the week I had at camp, I knew it was what God was calling me to. So I began praying for wisdom on how to begin.
It didn't take long for one answer to come. Long story short, I felt prompted to ask a friend who was moving back to Madison to join the youth team.
The awesome thing was that, about ten minutes before I sent the message inviting her to be a part of the ministry, she had been praying about the Journey and asking God to use her in starting one!
So she joined us in September. She has played a huge role ever since! She leads a weekly Bible study (PB&J- Prayer, Bible, and Journal) for middle school girls.
In November we had our first youth event. We took the kids bowling. We had a great turn out and everyone had a great time!
In December we held a Christmas party for them. It was a whole lot of fun and I got to share with the kids why we, as Christians, celebrate Christmas. It was neat to look into the eyes of some kids who had never really heard about Jesus and why He was born!
Other great things (not in chronological order) are:
I bought a ukulele and am slowly learning to play.
I've gotten some opportunities to preach at The Journey. I love getting to share the Word!
Ooh, and I have even gotten to sing on the worship team a couple of times! That was super fun!
This year has been so filled with so many friends. I've been blessed to grow closer to the ones I had and make new ones.
My wife, friends, and family are what makes my life so wonderful!
I am so thankful that I'm able to share the good times with them and that they are my rock when times get tough.
What's in store for 2015?
Well, next Sunday, we are starting Youth Night!
We'll be meeting in our Youth Director's apartment (we're praying for God to bring us to a larger place soon.) We plan on this being a great way to facilitate their spiritual journeys.
And I'll be starting a boy's PB&J this month! So far we have 1 boy, and he's a great kid who loves Jesus. I can't wait to see how God grows our study.
And it's never too early to start thinking about getting the kids to camp! We're going to start fund raising soon to help offset some of the cost for them to go.
So there you go!
I'd love it if you'd pray for wisdom for me as I get the honor of being used by God in our ministry.
I thought today would be a great time to review some of the highlights of last year.
The beginning of 2014 was pretty tame. It seemed like I blinked and it was summer. Or perhaps that's a result of being almost 50!
But summer was super sweet.
Some of my favorite times were the walks my wife and I would take with our dog. They are always filled with great talks and a whole lot of laughter! I'm continually in awe of how fortunate I am to be married to my best friend in the whole world!
I've seen God working in the mending of some relationships that had been injured. This has been so great! It has given me hope for even better times to come!
In August I had the honor of being the speaker at the Iowa Foursquare Middle School Camp. It was awesome! God really moved in the lives of the kids. We saw about a third of them make either first time decisions to follow God or rededicate their lives to Him. And I really felt God moving in my own life.
When I returned from camp I held my annual BaconFest. This one was the best so far! It's a great way for the friends from all areas of my life- work, church, and the neighborhood to get together for fun and bacon!
The following week, I met with the lead pastors from our church, The Journey, for my yearly review. In the meeting they asked me to start a youth group. After the week I had at camp, I knew it was what God was calling me to. So I began praying for wisdom on how to begin.
It didn't take long for one answer to come. Long story short, I felt prompted to ask a friend who was moving back to Madison to join the youth team.
The awesome thing was that, about ten minutes before I sent the message inviting her to be a part of the ministry, she had been praying about the Journey and asking God to use her in starting one!
So she joined us in September. She has played a huge role ever since! She leads a weekly Bible study (PB&J- Prayer, Bible, and Journal) for middle school girls.
In November we had our first youth event. We took the kids bowling. We had a great turn out and everyone had a great time!
In December we held a Christmas party for them. It was a whole lot of fun and I got to share with the kids why we, as Christians, celebrate Christmas. It was neat to look into the eyes of some kids who had never really heard about Jesus and why He was born!
Other great things (not in chronological order) are:
I bought a ukulele and am slowly learning to play.
I've gotten some opportunities to preach at The Journey. I love getting to share the Word!
Ooh, and I have even gotten to sing on the worship team a couple of times! That was super fun!
This year has been so filled with so many friends. I've been blessed to grow closer to the ones I had and make new ones.
My wife, friends, and family are what makes my life so wonderful!
I am so thankful that I'm able to share the good times with them and that they are my rock when times get tough.
What's in store for 2015?
Well, next Sunday, we are starting Youth Night!
We'll be meeting in our Youth Director's apartment (we're praying for God to bring us to a larger place soon.) We plan on this being a great way to facilitate their spiritual journeys.
And I'll be starting a boy's PB&J this month! So far we have 1 boy, and he's a great kid who loves Jesus. I can't wait to see how God grows our study.
And it's never too early to start thinking about getting the kids to camp! We're going to start fund raising soon to help offset some of the cost for them to go.
So there you go!
I'd love it if you'd pray for wisdom for me as I get the honor of being used by God in our ministry.
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